Toxic Kisses
by Broomstickk
Summary: There are so many secrets that I, Hermione Granger, have never told anyone. Not even Harry or Ron. Not even Ginny. But I'm ready to confess. I am ready to pour my heart out to you. But the question is, are you ready to handle my twisted life?
1. Prolouge

**Toxic Kisses**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything in this story besides the plot. Damn._

_**Author's Note: **This **is** a Draco/ Hermione story. This is only the prologue so nothing has really happened. It's just a summary of her life so far. Most of it you probably already know the general events of each year since J.K. Rowling has already written books 1-5, but instead of writing in third person, this story is written as Hermione saw her school years. I hope you enjoy. Read and Review please!_

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**Chapter song: Starless by Crossfade**

_(I originally had some lyrics, but demanded that everyone remove them or their account would be deleted. I'm not sure if it is an empty threat or not, but even so, I'm taking the proper precautions. I don't want to loose _any_ of my stories. So, listen to the song while you read the chapter, or read the lyrics. Or don't do either. It's up to you.)_

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He was toxic. _Period_.

Everything. _Every _little thing he did was toxic. He was deadly, and I loved it. Many would question why I felt so strongly for a man that was disgusted by my own existence. A man who has disowned me since I stepped foot into Hogwarts. The same man who had tormented me since First Year.

"_Mudblood. You filthy little mudblood_. _It's a shame you weren't born the day Lord Voldemort came into full power. I would have had him kill you first. Let you dangle in mid-air in front of everybody. Showing your filth to the world as they ravaged you. Your screams would be silenced. They would _destroy_ you, until there was nothing left but a pile of ashes.'_

The threats were endless. I've heard them for so long, they just all blend into one eternal line of death wishes. There was a point in my life when I let such things get to me. I was weak and insecure. I hid myself in my numerous books, and for years to come, I'd go down as one of the most brilliant witches Hogwarts had ever seen. Quite an accomplishment for a girl who was completely destroyed; don't you agree?

Along with hiding behind my books, I hid behind my few friends (Actually, I only had two until 6th year. But I'll elaborate more on that later). Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, the only two people in my life that made me feel like I was welcomed. Who knew that three rejects would become the most popular and well-liked trio in the school, without the Slytherin's consent that is. Those slimy gits probably have pages of parchment filled with reasons why they disliked – no _loathed _- us.

I used to think that they were jealous of my friends and I. I guess it was just my way of brushing off the fact that they genuinely hated me. At first I thought that maybe it was the way I looked, or the house I was sorted into (I love Gryffindor, don't get me wrong). But, underneath all of these false beliefs, there was one reason why I believed every one of them. I just wanted to be liked. I wanted to be accepted. It wasn't my fault that both of my parents were Muggles. It's not like I _chose _to be a wizard. Up until my eleventh birthday, I thought magic was just a myth. A fairytale told to children. Just a figment of some lonely man's imagination. A belief that had been passed down through generations.

But yet again, don't get me wrong. I feel blessed to be a witch. I just wish that my experience in Hogwarts was better than it was. I just wish the tormenting and never-ending teasing would just stop completely, you know? Everyday I would wake up and tell myself '_Today will be different. Today no body will comment about my hair, or my blood. Today... I'll be normal, just like everybody else. I'll be _fine.' And everyday as I walked down those Hogwarts corridors, I'd hear those sniggers and sly remarks that the Slytherin's would shout in my direction.

'_Hey look! It's the walking hair monster! Rarrr'_ They would shout and extend their arms out to make it seem like they were obese. The Slytherin girls would start their high-pitched giggling as my tormentors took short and heavy steps. '_Rarrr_' They would continue to bellow. '_Rarrr! Look at me; I'm the hair monster nerd. Watch out… I might just attack you with my frizzy hair. It's just so big_, _along with every other part of my body._'

When this first started in first year, I would let them see how upset they made me. I'd let the tears burn my eyes as they snickered and laughed at my rage. They were bastards. It's too bad I didn't realize this at first. I honestly should have. I was the only person in my year to read Hogwarts: A History before entering Hogwarts. I should have known that Slytherins and Gryffindors had been life long rivals. I only had myself to blame for my stupidity. And blame myself I did.

At the tender age of eleven, I read as much as I could. I would excel in all of my classes, and to many, well actually everybody, I was a stuck-up, snobbish, know-it-all bitch. My intelligence level was the only thing I had that no body else could reach. I felt superior, and I loved the rush. Maybe that's why the Slytherin's enjoyed tormenting others. It was the only way _they _could feel good about themselves too.

So, for the first few months of my First Year I spent my time studying. I'd show off my knowledge during classes, and I felt great - no fantastic, until October 31st. After walking out of Charms, I heard Harry Potter and Ron Weasley talking about me. Well not exactly talking, making fun of me.

"You're saying it wrong. It's Wing-_gar_-dium Levi-_o_-sa, not Wing-_gar_-dium Levi-o-_sa_." Ron mocked me in a high-pitched voice. _Did I really sound like that_? "It's no wonder no one can stand her. She's a nightmare, honestly!"

As those few words spilled out of his mouth, I got extremely hurt. I was so naïve. I thought it was only the Slytherin's who'd torment me, but people from my_ own_ house did as well! It was horrible, and at that exact moment, it dawned on me. _Nobody, not one person, liked me. I was a disgrace, and a mistake_.

But you see, the one thing that made this situation even worse than it already was, was who said those few fateful words. Ever since September 1st, I had been envious of Ron and Harry. I envied their friendship, and how they seemed so close. Never in my life had I ever had a friend who I could just talk to. A friend who'd stand up for me. A friend who'd be there when I needed them. A friend who'd love everything about me, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and most importantly, accept all of it with an open heart.

So for the rest of the day, I sat in the girl's lavatory and just cried. I'm pathetic, I know, but I don't think you can grasp the entire situation here. It was so bad, my life was terrible, and I can barely put it into words. I'm even surprised that I've been able to write this much so far. I have _never _told anyone about the way I felt, even after I became friends with Harry and Ron.

You see, after they heard that I had locked myself in the bathroom, they began to feel horrible. Surprising, huh? Well, I guess that night someone let a troll get inside of the castle, and just with my luck, it came to the bathroom that I was in. It started to destroy everything. I was terrified and alone. And, if it wasn't for those two boys, I probably wouldn't even be alive to write this story on paper, as I am now. Merlin bless their souls. I may be a brilliant witch and all, but at the age of eleven, I had never seen nor experienced a live and extremely large troll. I was so scared that I couldn't even process what was going on, until those two came running in. They knocked it out, and saved my life. Ever since then, we've been best friends, and thank Merlin for that. Without them, I probably would have died young. But, it wouldn't have been a natural death. Nooo. I would have taken my own life.

That's a completely morbid thought. Yes, I know, but at that stage of my life, that's all I thought about. _Would life be better if I wasn't in it?_ I spent long sleepless nights pondering this question, and I never got the same answer. Some nights, when I _really _wanted to believe that **_I, _**Hermione Granger, could make a difference, I'd tell myself that I should be glad I'm here. I should be thanking the Gods for this astonishing opportunity. I should be grateful and pleased that I am able to become a witch and to be able to meet some of the most outstanding and well known wizards of all time. Those were the few and very scarce nights that I was able to go to sleep and wake up without puffy eyes. The rest of those nights, well they're pretty much self-explanatory.

If you were to just glance at my frail eleven year old self walking and gently pushing my way through the crowd of Hogwarts students to get to my next class, you would have never guessed that I was suicidal. After all of the tormenting and teasing, I learned how to hide my emotions, my feelings, and my thoughts with ease. If someone were to charm my hair blonde, straight and silky, and give me ice cold grey eyes, and make me a pureblood, I could probably have passed as a Malfoy. Well, my attitude could at times. There was so much hidden inside of me. So much that nobody knew about, and I wanted to keep it that way for a _long _time. Even forever if I could, but as you can see, I can't. I need to let everyone know. Maybe, when and if I get this story published, my tormentors will be able to see how they affected me. Maybe they'll laugh and be glad that they were able to get to me. To be able to crash and burn every single wall that I had built around me just so I wouldn't get hurt, like they had hurt me. Or maybe, just maybe, they'll feel bad. Perhaps they'd show a little sign of remorse. And maybe _even _apologize (that'd be the day – a Slytherin admitting that he was wrong).

Anyways, let's get back to the topic on hand.

During the rest of my first year, I had spent most of my time with Harry and Ron. We had become very close friends, maybe even best friends. But at the time, I wouldn't let myself think that. The last thing I needed was another disappointment in my life, you know? I had just finally started to build up those walls again. My suicidal thoughts had slowly started to disappear, and I finally knew what happiness was, even if it was for a little bit. The Slytherin's still tormented me, and I would just give them my fiercest glare in return. I was shocked the day that Harry and Ron stood up for me.

The three of us were walking towards Potions, which meant that there would be a lot of Slytherin students. I felt my stomach start to churn as they all stared at me. Pansy Parkinson let out a squeal of laughter and pointed at my hair. And that's when it began. The boys started to call me the 'hair monster nerd' and I just hugged my books to my chest.

"Hermione," Harry asked me. His emerald green eyes locked onto mine. Oh, how I loved his eyes, "What's going on? Why are they saying this to you?"

I looked away from and began to pick up my pace. "Hermione?" This time Ron asked. My two friends seemed genuinely concerned for me. This was a first. Should I take advantage of it?

"Don't worry about it. They do it all the time. C'mon, we're gonna be late for Potions. You know Snape always takes off points from the Gryffindors." I let out a nervous laugh. The boys didn't respond. _Just laugh. Ignore the Slytherins_.

"Hermione," Harry let my name slide off of his tongue, but I wouldn't turn around. I just kept walking. _Almost there, almost there. We're almost to Potions. One more minute of this. Hermione do not look at them. Ignore them, ignore them. Don't listen to their comments. **Don't listen**. _"Hermione!" I still didn't stop, so he jogged a little and lightly wrapped his hand around my wrist. I flinched and stopped. "Do they always do this to you? I mean, say these horrible things?"

I wouldn't look at him. I just stared at my books. _Hogwarts: A History, Hogwarts: A History. _I read over and over in my mind. I didn't want to answer the question.

"Hermione, please, answer us." Ron pleaded, and I just gave in.

"Yes, they do it _everyday_! Okay? Now let's not worry about this."

"Aww, look everyone. Famous Harry Potter is holding that filthy mudblood's hand. But it's no surprise, two freaks like them deserve each other." My head quickly turned to the voice. It was _his _voice. Draco Malfoy smirked when I looked at him. His grey eyes just shimmered with malice. He was leaning against a door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Even at eleven, he was amazingly good looking. His blonde hair was slicked back, not one piece out of place. It wouldn't be until years later, when he let those gorgeous blonde locks gently fall where ever they pleased. But either way, he was still very striking.

"Oh fuck off Malfoy," Harry retorted in anger. Instead of having his hand on my wrist, he was holding my hand. I squeezed it, and he held on tighter. It was great having this kind of support. It was times like these that I felt powerful and secure. Like nothing could bring me down or destroy my perfect little world. If only these moments would last longer than a few minutes. If they did, this story would be a much happier tale, but it is not. "It's not my fault that I actually have feelings and I'm not a lifeless little shit who just lives off of his parent's money."

Draco's lips curled. "At least I have parents. But then again, if it wasn't for Lord Voldemort, the world would still be cursed with their retched beings."

Harry's eyes flashed, and he let go of my hand and started to lunge at Draco. "Harry, NO!" I shouted. He just couldn't get hurt. He was the first person to ever stand up for me, and I couldn't just let something happen to him. "Stop Harry!" I screamed. My voice echoed shrilly down the stone corridors. Both, Harry and Draco stopped and looked at me. "Harry, please, just come on. Forget about him. You're right. He's insignificant, and he's not worth your time. Just come on." I dragged his arm, and reluctantly he came with me, Ron in tow. As we made it towards the Potions classroom, I silently replayed everything that had just happened. Harry Potter had just stood up for me. My idol and now good friend stood up for me.

"Thank you Harry," I whispered softly into his ear as we took our seats in the dreaded Potion's classroom.

"For what?" He asked questioningly.

"For sticking up for me. It means a lot. No body's really ever done that before. You know, wow I sound really corny. I'm sorry, Harry. Forget I ever said anything." My face flushed and I looked away embarrassed.

"Hermione, don't be, and you shouldn't be so surprised. We're friends remember? Me, you and Ron. We're good friends, no **best** friends." I smiled as he said that. Best friends? Maybe I could finally believe it. "And part of the job description is sticking up for one another, and trust me, I always will be there for you. I promise."

He took my chin lightly in his hands and tilted it towards him. For an eleven year old, he was very affectionate, not like I minded. Our eyes locked. His never-ending emerald green orbs, and my honey brown, which were glazed over in thankful tears.

"Thank you Harry," I let out in a gasp. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath. He smiled, and then pulled me in for a hug.

That was one of the best moment of my life, as cheesy as it sounds, but it meant the _world _to me to finally have someone who cared for me. Sure, my parents did, they told me that they loved me, but they were _never _home. I know, you're probably thinking_, 'but their dentists, it's not like their job requires them to travel._' Well, my parents liked to go out a lot. Ever since I was seven, they deemed me responsible enough to stay home alone. At times, I'd be in our nicely furnished home alone for a week at a time, and since I was only eight, I couldn't call anyone to come over, not like I had many friends as it was. When I was seven, they pulled me out of public schooling and got me a tutor. They decided it was best for me to be home schooled because I was being held back by the other kids in my class. I was _only_ in **_first grade_**. How could they have possibly known that? We were just learning how to write numbers and letters. Oh well, its not like I could go back in time and change what happened. Maybe if they kept me in public school, I'd be able to make friends easier, and not be so intimidated. I guess I deserve the treatment I get, even though it's not my fault that I lived such a sheltered life during my childhood years.

Anyways, after Harry's declaration of friendship, the three of us, Harry, Ron and I, became the Golden Trio. Harry, who was already well known by the whole wizarding community as the Boy-Who-Lived (since his parents got killed by Lord Voldemort, but he did not, instead, he survived with small lightening bolt shaped scar on his forehead) always received much attention, but after first year, Ron and I did as well. As you probably know, Dumbledore had the Sorcerer's Stone hidden in Hogwarts, and being the curious eleven year olds as we were, Harry, Ron and I did some research. At first we believed that Snape was the one who wanted it, so he could give it to Lord Voldemort, but in the end it was Professor Quirrel. That was _defiantly_ a shock to us. He seemed so… well, helpless and innocent. But as they say, looks can be deceiving, and they sure as hell were. After all was said and done, the three of us had saved the stone, and defeated Voldemort, if only for a short time. We were awarded house points and it was amazing. I think we even won the House Cup that year. I apologize. I can't remember. I have tried to block out so many memories from First Year, the bad ones that is. I'm glad I can still remember some of the happier ones.

Well, after First Year, I had to go back home. Once again, I was home alone, and since I was older, I saw my parents just about six times a month. It didn't really make a difference to me though. It's not like I really knew them in the first place. I never really had any good father or mother figures in my life. We had grown so distant, that I eventually considered them as room mates, if even that.

During the summer, which was about the longest three months of my life, I made sure that I kept in touch with Ron and Harry. They were the only two people who had kept me sane. And even though I would get letters from them, I still slipped into a deep depression. Being alone in a house constantly can do things to a person. No wonder Draco was the way he was.

One day, in the beginning of August, I just couldn't take it anymore. My parents had come home for only a few hours, and didn't even bother to wake me (they came home at midnight. Oh, what great fucking timing Mom and Dad) but instead, left me a note.

_Hermione dear,  
Your father and I are going to the America's. The dentist office is giving us time off. We won't be back home until August 27st. If we are up to it, we will go to Diagon Alley with you to pick up your supplies. Have fun, and don't destroy the house while we're gone._

_-Mom and Dad_

I read this over and over again. I couldn't believe it. They didn't even apologize, nor write, "Love, Mom and Dad." It was just a dash. They didn't even have the decency to put the note by my bed. Instead they placed it on the kitchen counter, right next to our knives.

I was so pissed. And that word _barely_ describes how mad I was. Right after that note was left, I started getting suicidal again. I just sat on that stool, with that note in my hand, and thought back on First Year. Every single horrible encounter came back to me. _Hair Monster Nerd! Look at me! Rarrr! _Everything came back.

I screamed.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was dirty. I was filthy, and I needed to rid myself of this dirtiness. Maybe if I bled, just a little, I wouldn't be so foul. I looked to my right and there were our knives. We had every kind you could imagine. When I was younger my parents loved to cook, but not anymore.

I grabbed the sharpest that I could find, and I sliced my left arm. Over and over. I just cut into my creamy white flesh. My parents had forgotten my birthday. I was twelve, and alone. I was **_too _**young to be feeling this way. It was all their fault.

In a matter of minutes, I had made 10 long gashes down the underside of my lower arm. From my wrist to my elbow. I fell off the stool I was sitting in, and staggered towards the bathroom. My eyes were spilling over with tears, just like my arm was crying red. I stood in front of the mirror and just stared at myself. They were right, I had become a monster.

I slid down the wall, and just cried. For hours, I just cried as my arm bled. I had lost so much blood, and I was getting dizzy. My arms had begun to scab over, but even so, I knew I was in critical danger. I didn't want to die, but things had begun to look that way. But thank god for my reading. I knew how to perform a healing spell without my wand, and without attracting Hogwarts attention. I clotted my bleeding, and just passed out in the bathroom. My body just lay limp over the bathtub, and for the next 24 hours, I just slept there.

That had to be the worst summer I had ever experienced. It took me a full week to recover from my cutting spree, and even after the scabs had healed, I still had the scars. Ten pink lines that criss-crossed my arm, and every time I looked at them, they reminded me of how I rid myself of that dirty blood.

My parents did end up going to Diagon Alley with me the day after they got home from the America's. They were completely oblivious to my actions, and had no idea what I had done. I had taken the knife that I had used, and slipped it into my trunk. When they asked what had happened to it, I told them that I had let a neighbor borrow it, and it just never got returned.

They were so gullible. They believed _every _lie.

When I got to Diagon Alley, I was able to meet Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who both met my parents, who in turn, played the whole 'I'm great, caring parents' act flawlessly. It was disgusting.

By the time September 1st came around, I was grateful. I couldn't wait to leave this hellhole for my true home. Hogwarts.

My second year was better than my first, but I still got tormented. The Slytherin's continued to make fun of me, and Malfoy even called me a mudblood. It was the first time I ever had heard him say it to my face. Ron was furious and poor kid, he attempted to curse Malfoy, but since his wand was broken (Harry and Ron flew to Hogwarts that year. Oh gosh, what boys) he cursed himself instead. I soon found out how much these two boys cared for me. We really were best friends.

Yet again, Harry, Ron and I had to fight Lord Voldemort, but instead as his younger form. Tom Riddle. Ginny, Ron's younger sister got involved. It was _terrible. _She almost died! But if it wasn't for Harry, she wouldn't have been alive. Bless his soul.

During this year, I was infatuated by a teacher. Professor Lockhart. I was such a fool, and he was a fake. Oh, what a pre-teen I was. I was captivated by his good-looks, but that wasn't the only person. Malfoy had become hotter, and everyone was noticing. I knew that I could never like him, because he just wouldn't like me, you know? He was a pureblood, I was a mudblood. It was like the whole Juliet and Romeo deal. We were forbidden lovers, not like we were lovers in the first place. We weren't even friends. Oh well.

After second year, I started up on cutting myself again during the summer. I hated the house and I hated my parents who I saw even more scarcely. Life sucked major ass, and I felt like cutting myself was the only way I could release this pain and anger. And that's what I did.

No body even found out. If I wore short sleeved shirts, I made sure I charmed my skin to be flawless. It was a simple spell. It was a look-away sorta thing. If you knew what you were looking for, you'd be able to see it. But the good thing is, no body wanted to see my scared arms, because _nobody_ knew what I was doing myself. Who would have thought that the bookworm of my year would be cutting herself? Go ahead and tell somebody that, and they'd just laugh.

So, during third year, I was able to meet Sirus Black and Remus Lupin. They were two of Harry's father's best friends during his Hogwarts years, and even after. They were sweet men, and they cared for Harry greatly. It was obvious, and I wish that I had adult figures in my life who would feel the same the way for me. I was jealous of Harry, but I never let him see it. Remember, I had to hide my feelings, and over the years I had almost perfected that art.

As the years passed, the Trio and I had become closer. I was also very close to the Weasley family and loved Ginny with all of my heart. She was the only girl friend that I had, but that was okay, because she was brilliant. She had such a big heart, and loved everyone, and _always_ tried to see the positive side in everyone. She was everything I wanted to be and more. If only that would happen.

My arms had acquired more and more scars. You could see every single one. The ones from the first year summer were very light, and the current ones a bright pink. I could heal them completely, but I liked them, in a weird and twisted way. They were a part of me now, and I just couldn't erase something like that. So, on my arms they stayed.

Sometimes I got depressed at school, and during my fourth and fifth years, I would cut. It was either because I was unhappy or stressed. It was my way of dealing with things.

Fourth and Fifth years were actually _very _stressful. They were bad for all three of us. It was the worst for Harry though. During Fourth he had the TriWizard Tournament and actually witnessed Lord Voldemort kill Cedric Diggory and come back to power. And then, during fifth, he had to see his godfather, Sirus, die. Those two years I cut even more than usual. It was unbelievable how addicted I got.

The teasing started to die down though. I guess it was because I started to fill out. My bushy hair wasn't as messy and frizzy, but more tame, and actually pretty. Something I thought was _never _possible. I had gotten some nice curves, and I actually filled out completely during the summer of fifth year, going into sixth. And this is where the actual story starts.

This is very difficult for me to write, since I had _never _let anybody know about my personal life, or get an insight of my actual feelings. I hope you understand how I felt. I'm not sure if I want sympathy or not, and even if you were to feel at least a little remorseful for me, it probably wouldn't help. No one has _ever_ felt bad for me. Well not until sixth year. You probably wouldn't believe it when you read this. It was one of the most unexpected people. He was someone I _never _thought would care. Well, enough of my babbling. Now let's begin this story. Let me warn you though. It is not the happiest of all tales. This is no fairy tale, and I guess it's up to you to judge what kind of ending this story has. I won't tell you. I wouldn't want to ruin the conclusion. So turn the page, and learn about me, Hermione Granger. I am opening my soul and mind to you. Please be careful.

_-Hermione Granger _

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**A/N:** Alright everyone. I just had the sudden urge to write this. If you want me to continue this review please. It'd be awesome if I got loads of reviews like I get for **Love, Or Something Like It**. If I got like 40 reviews for this one chapter (like it'd happen --) I'd probably update so quickly. But whatever. Please review. Please …

**BrOoMsTiCkK**


	2. Reflections

**Toxic Kisses **

_**Reflections**_

**A.N. **The song Hermione sings in this chapter is: **Trouble Sleeping** by The Perishers From the **O.C. Mix 2 Soundtrack**

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The ceiling was white, with those half semi-circles all along it. You know what I mean, don't you? You make them with those plaster brushes, and it makes the ceiling look like it's a massive white ocean. If you don't know, well, next time you go over someone's house, check their ceilings. Maybe _they'll _have it too.

My walls, they were a light pink. It was a very girly, princessy pink. It was the color I wanted when I was younger and Mum and Dad obliged. My parents were _actually _parents from the time I was born until I was six (shocking, I know. I can hardly believe it myself, and I am their _daughter, _if that). If only I could remember more from those years. Those were the blissful days of my life. I only had a sparse amount of memories from then, and those I treasure dearly.

Christmas Time was _always_ the best. My parents would make such a big ordeal, and I loved it. On exactly December 1st, my mom would go into this psycho Christmas mode. Every single box of Christmas decorations came out of our attic, (there were over 20, my mom was obsessed) and my dad and I would willingly help her decorate. It took three days to get everything finished. We even had a schedule. It was very amusing.

On December 1st, my parents and I would decorate the exterior of the house. December 2nd was dedicated to the interior, and December 3rd was used just for decorating the tree. We had so many ornaments, it was a surprise the tree branches didn't break from the weight. Christmas was _always_ so joyous.

But, I have to say, Christmas Eve was the best. Before I found out that Santa Claus was just a myth, my parents would put on this amazing show.

At exactly 10:00 PM _every_ Christmas Eve they would send me up to bed. They would wait a half an hour, and just spend time down by the fire talking, because they knew I'd just lie in my bed and stare at those ceilings that reminded me so much of a vast ocean. After I fell asleep, they would bring the presents up from the basement, and festively put them beneath the tree. Then, my father would take his work boots, which were Timberlands (yah, he was just that cool), and put a mixture of sugar and baking soda onto the bottom, and make sparkly foot prints from the Chimney, to the Christmas Tree, up the stairs to my room, and then turn around at the door and come back downstairs and up to the chimney.

When I woke up on Christmas, I'd squeal in delight, just like every child did. _Santa had visited my room! Santa had seen me!_ I always got such a rush from that thought. It makes me smile _every time_ I think of it. I'm even smiling right now.

My parents would always smile and laugh at my excitement, and as I opened my gifts they'd sit close together. Nothing could separate them. And when I was done, I'd run over with my presents for them, and we'd give each other one big bear hug.

These are the kind of moments I cherished; the moments that will _never _again happen in my life time. The moments I so dearly miss.

This is what my summers were like, just lying in my bed reminiscing about the past. I got so bored, that I memorized every little detail in my room, as well as everything else in the house. I felt like a walking ghost.

I sighed to myself, and rolled over to my side.

I faced my closet door, and on it was a long mirror, with assorted pictures of my parents. Some were of Harry, Ron, Ginny and the rest of the Weasley's, and of course, these were moving. I let a smile play across my lips. Oh, how I missed them. Only thirty more days until September 1st. I couldn't wait.

For minutes, I just lay there watching Harry's smiling face. His emerald green eyes sparkling with mischief as he mentally planned another prank on the Slytherins. Over the years, he and Ron had caused almost has much trouble as his father, and that's saying something. I never mentioned it though, because being like his father, meant so much to Harry. That was a feeling I knew I'd never get the chance to experience.

My eyes glanced around my room. I don't know why. I already knew where everything was, but still I did.

In my right hand corner, I had a bookshelf with loads of cheesy romance novels. I loved to loose myself in those stories. One of those 'I wish it could happen to me but never will' tales, where you immediately fall in love with that 'knight in shining armor' and you knew you'd do anything to have that kind of romance. If only.

I also had a desk, which had a small lamp and quills and paper, along with my camera. I _loved _taken pictures. It didn't matter what kind. Muggle or Wizard was fine by me. I preferred the black and white kind though. There was just something so captivating and just frankly beautiful about them.

I have one picture that I have _never _let anyone else see. I keep it hidden in my dresser drawer. Sometimes, at night, when I can't fall asleep, I take it out, and just stare at it. The man in the photograph was captured perfectly. It was in black and white, and I couldn't help but close my eyes and smile when I thought about it.

The image played over and over in my mind, so I got up and retrieved it from my drawer. I shifted through the socks and undergarments. Most of it was just the normal, regular cotton underwear, but I did have my fair share of lingerie. Ginny convinced me one day during fourth year to take her shopping at a Muggle mall (I had her over. Mr. Weasley insisted that he drove her here, even though it took him about 3 days. But that's okay, he enjoyed the experience. He was such a Muggle-lover, Merlin bless him) and so I did. She was immediately drawn to the Victoria's Secret store.

"Muggle's wear lingerie too? I would have _never _guessed!" She exclaimed as she held up some very racy thongs. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course they do. Now come on, let's go find some clothes that _actually_ cover our bodies."

"Uh huh, Miss Know-it-all-Granger! We are buying some lingerie. Now come on, let's shop baby!" She grabbed my wrist and together we sorted through the various items. I was surprised at how many different styles of undergarments there were. I have to admit, I bought a good $400 worth, and Ginny never let me live it down.

This may sound totally dorky, but after I bought it, I would occasionally wear some of the thongs, or lace bras underneath my clothes as I went shopping. It was like a secret that only _I_ knew about, and every time I passed somebody I'd smirk. I felt even better when I walked through Hogwarts. Who would have guessed that _I_ wore lingerie? If you were to tell me this during 1st year, I'd just laugh in your face and exclaim "Ha-ha, you're funny!"

Maybe I wouldn't have believed it because I was nothing special. My hair was frizzy and a complete mess. I had the occasional blemish, and my clothes were _definitely _not in style. But all of this changed after I met Ginny, and I guess hormones helped as well. During fifth year I noticed a big change in my body, and by the middle of summer, it was _very _noticeable.

I had curves.

Yes, I, Hermione Granger, had curves! My hair was barely frizzy anymore as well! It had turned a nice brunette color, and my curly locks fell delicately around my shoulders. I was surprised at how many boys my age had hit on me while I went jogging in the morning, some were even as old as 25. I felt confident, which is surprising, because that was never an emotion or feeling that normally described me. Oh well, things change, and thank Merlin for that.

I smiled as I shifted through my socks and finally I found the picture. I pulled it out, and once it was complete uncovered I just gasped. It was beautiful, and it got me _every single time_.

I backed up until I reached my bed, and I fell back, still holding on to the picture. It was a picture of _him_. Draco Malfoy was the man inside of this picture. I don't know why I was so captivated by it. Wasn't I supposed to hate him? But every time I looked at that picture, I wasn't so sure.

I took this picture the last day of school of fifth year. Harry, Ron, Ginny and I were all lying near the pond, and I was taking pictures of them for the summer. At one point, I got distracted, and I saw Draco walking back from the Quidditch pitch. He had gotten in one last practice before the year ended and his hair was all wind-blown in a sexy kinda way (he lost the gel in fourth year).

I lifted my camera to my eye, and pointed the lens in his direction. He was oblivious. And then, right as I clicked the button to take the picture, someone called his name, and his head spun around to face them. To say the least, this photo had captured it all.

The way his hair spun as he turned. The way his ice cold eyes turned just a tiny bit warm, if you looked close enough, from surprise. Maybe he was expecting someone to be calling him. Maybe he was hoping it was one of his many lovers. Who knows?

His mouth was parted just a small bit, which exposed his lips and parts of his white teeth. His skin was blemish-free and creamy white.

He stood like he was a god. There was this overpowering confidence that just flowed out of him. Whenever you were near him, you could feel it. I guess that's why he intimidated me so. Because I knew that I could never be as secure as he was. It scared me… a lot.

For an hour, I just sat there and stared at that picture. He looked so innocent. His face wasn't in the normal sneer or his trademark smirk. It was just… natural. And it drove me wild.

I guess you could say I had a thing for Draco Malfoy. He was intoxicating. He was deadly, and it made me fall head over heels.

But, _no body _knows. Not one single soul knows how I feel, and believe me, nobody would guess. I mean, he had been my bully since first year. Most people would _never _become friends with someone who bullied them, never mind _like _them. It was crazy, absurd, or what ever the hell you want to call it. It was just ridiculous, but I was that kind of person. I was just crazy.

I placed the photo down on my bed and stretched. It was only three in the afternoon, so I might as well do something. I headed downstairs to the kitchen and began to prepare myself an early dinner or maybe dunch/linner. Basically, it was just something to eat.

Quietly, I hummed to myself. I could sing if I wanted to. I had a good voice. My family members would always tell me that when I sang during the holidays. It was just another one of my hidden talents.

"I'm having trouble sleeping. You're jumping in my bed, twisting in my head. Leave me."

I sang quietly underneath my breath.

"I'm having trouble breathing. You're sitting on my chest. I sure could use the rest. Leave me."

The words hung in the still air hauntingly. I didn't mind though. This house had been silent for too long.

"It's you, why's it always you and never me? I've never dared to let my feelings free. Why's it always you and never me? I've never cared too much about honesty."

I sighed and reached into the cupboard for a bag of popcorn. Screw a big meal, this could be my dinner. Mechanically, I placed it into the microwave. I wasn't paying attention to my actions at all, just thinking about the words I had been previously singing.

The song completely described me. I _never _let my feelings free. I couldn't. Through all of the years of insults and bullying I had become immune to expressing how I felt. Instead, I kept those repressed feelings inside of me. One day I was just going to explode from it all. There is just too much and I have _never _spoken about it. It's just there. It's _always_ there. I feel them the most when I'm alone. That's probably why the summers are so terrible. All of those horrible memories come back to haunt me. It scares me so much, and as hard as I try to _stop _cutting, the truth is, I _can't._

Cutting is the only way I can feel good about myself. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm getting rid of some of my filthiness, part of my disgusting blood, the one thing that makes me different from others. Why do people have to be so prejudice?

I wish everyone would just get along, but yeah, like _that'd _ever happen. I let out a slow and shaky breath and just sat there watching the bag of popcorn rise and the cornels inside pop. I loved popcorn. It was my comfort food.

The microwave beeped after two minutes and thirty-five seconds, and I stood up to retrieve that wonderful buttery goodness. I opened the bag and watched the steam pour out of the top. I laughed and then poured its contents into a bowl and brought it upstairs into my room.

I sat down on my bed Indian-style and began to eat. I looked around and then down at the picture. For some reason it didn't move even though it was taken with a wizard camera. Something must have gone wrong, but I didn't mind. I liked the picture just as it was. I glanced one more time at it and then stood up and placed it back into my drawer.

This was going to be one hell of a year.

* * *

"It's 10:55 dear. You should get on the train; you only have five more minutes. You wouldn't want to miss it, now would you?" My father said cheerfully. He had one arm around me and he pulled me into him for one quick hug. I plastered on a fake smile and hugged back. My mom didn't feel like coming. Whatever, I couldn't let it bother me, so I didn't.

"Bye Dad." I replied and only then did he release me from his hold. Thank _GOD!_ I grabbed the carriage that was holding my trunk and then began to sprint towards the barrier. With ease I disappeared from the Muggle world and re-entered into the Wizard World. Not once did I look back. Why would I want to anyways?

"Welcome home Hermione." I whispered to myself. This time I had a genuine smile on. I was finally back to where I belonged.

The train blew its whistle.

"One more minute to board the Hogwarts Express! One more minute!" The conductor shouted. I snapped back to reality and dashed towards one of the opening doors. I couldn't miss the train so as fast as I could I lifted my trunk onto the train and started down the corridors. I couldn't remember where exactly what compartment Harry, Ron, Ginny and I were supposed to meet in so I checked all of them.

Many people, mostly Ravenclaw's, Huffelpuff's and fellow Gryffindor's waved at me. The Slytherin's well, they just glared. Some gave me rude hand gestures. I gave them a glare in return. I would _not _let them have the satisfaction of letting them see me hurt. Nope, never again.

"My, my, my. If it isn't the whore of mudblood _Granger_." Someone spat from behind me. _Great, just great. This is exactly what I needed. _I took a slow deep breath and prepared myself for my response. I spun around.

"You know-" I began but then stopped completely when I saw who it was. It was Draco. I just stood there stunned. It was like I was immobilized. Not one part of my body moved, I couldn't even get enough strength to close my mouth. He made me that damn weak.

"Cat got your tongue?" He smirked and crossed his arms. He was leaning against the side of a compartment and one of his feet was crossed over the other. His hair fell in all of the right places, just like in the picture. And like always, his grey eyes sparkled with mischief. But not like Harry's. Noo, more like an '_I'm gonna get you good one of these day's_' looks. Like he was planning just how to break you down as he spoke. It was crazy.

"Wow, Granger didn't answer a question. This is a first." I didn't know what to do. This was the first time that I couldn't answer him. That damn photograph was doing this to me. Merlin, help me! Quickly I thought up a response.

"Maybe because I don't want to waste my breath on you, _Malfoy_." His name came out of my mouth harshly, like it was poison. What a good little liar I could be.

Draco raised one of his perfectly arched eyebrows at me. "Is that so Granger?" He smirked again and lifted himself from the wall. He began to move towards me slowly. "I thought you just jumped at _every_ chance you could get to insult me. Isn't it some kind of, um, what's the word, _hobby_?"

I glared at him but this did not stop his advance.

"Hmm, isn't that so, _mudblood_?" I shivered. He was less than a foot apart from me. He had me pressed up against the wall, and he was bent down so his face was right in line with mine (he was 6'2, I was only 5'7). I couldn't believe how close he was. The rush was amazing.

"Answer me Granger." He demanded. His lips were so close. _He _was so close. Close enough to smell. I felt myself getting lightheaded.

"Back off Malfoy. She doesn't have to listen to you." A strong male voice announced from behind me. "Back off."

I felt an arm slip around my waist. I let myself sink into the person. Draco smelt so good. I watched him back away in a hazy daze. It felt like an out of body experience. What the hell was going on with me?

He sneered at the man behind me, and then glanced down at me. His eyes seemed softer for some reason. Or maybe I was just seeing things. I just stared at him until he was completely gone.

"Are you okay?" The male voice asked. It sounded so familiar. I still couldn't move. "Hermione?" And suddenly my eyes locked onto a pair of emerald green. It was Harry. I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine Harry. No biggie. It was just Malfoy. You know how he can be. I got to him though."

Harry smiled. "I know you'd be able to leave him speechless Hermione. You _always_ do."

I smiled back. If only Harry knew that it was the other way around.

"Well come on, let's go find the others." He motioned down the hall with his hands. "Oh and let me get those for you my dear Hermione!"

I laughed. Harry was so adorable. He was the best guy friend a girl could _ever _ask for.

Together, hand in hand, we made our way down the corridor. Many people assume that Harry and I have some kind of secret love affair going on, and I might have believed it myself if I had not known that my heart really belonged to that mysterious Slytherin. Love works in such weird ways.

* * *

"Hermione!" Ron and Ginny exclaimed in unison as Harry and I walked into the compartment. They both glanced at our hands and I blushed a deep crimson and let go. Harry smiled sheepishly.

"Ah, Hermione it's been so long!" Ginny happily cried out. Before I knew it, I was embraced in one big bear hug from my dear friend. I laughed and hugged her back with all of my might. I loved her so much.

After we broke apart, I sat down and listened to the details of my friend's summers. Apparently Ginny, Ron and the rest of the Weasley's went on another vacation to Egypt after having such a great time before. I smiled when Ron handed me a pyramid that randomly opened up and revealed a decaying mummy that would jump out at you. I screamed the first time, and Harry and Ron found it quite amusing. Ginny hit Ron immediately after.

"You should have told her you twit!" she yelled, but this didn't stop their laughter. It was infectious, and soon the whole compartment was filled with it.

"Okay, okay. That's enough guys," Harry managed to say between gasps of air. We all had tears in our eyes from all of the laughing. I wiped my eyes and agreed.

"Oh Merlin!" I yelped. "We're going to be at Hogwarts in less than twenty minutes! I need to change!"

"So do I!" Ginny replied. The boys smirked.

"Well _we _already did." Ron stuck out his tongue and I crossed my eyes in response.

"Oh god, you two are just _so_ brilliant."

"You betcha!" Harry yelled. We all burst into laughter again, and after we got the boys out, Ginny and I changed.

"So, is there something going on between you and Harry?" Ginny inquired as we pulled on our robes.

"No. Nothing at all. I promise." I turned and smiled at her. She just raised her eyebrows.

"Sure Hermione. You two are just 'good friends' right?"

"Exactly. That's all, I swear. You two should get together. You'd be cute."

"Me and Harry?" She laughed. "Like that'd _ever _happen. He _is _my brother's best friend. I doubt it'd work."

"Ginny, it's worth a shot. You are close to him as it is."

"Yeah, I guess. I still like him, but I just don't let it show like I did when I was younger." We both laughed as we finished dressing.

"I think you should go for it Ginny. Be dangerous! Take risks!"

"You are such a cheese ball Hermione!" I smiled.

"I know. Don't you love it?" We embraced each other again and then let the boys back in. I knew _nothing _would _ever _come between Ginny and I. We were too close.

"God, what is it with girls and getting dressed? It takes half a century for you to put on something as simple as school robes." Ron grumbled as he walked in behind Harry.

"Brother, we girls need to look good for the gorgeous boys. Duh." Ginny calmly stated and then we both started to burst into a fit of giggles.

I couldn't wait for this year to begin.

* * *

"Firs' years o'er here!" A large scruffy man called through the sea of students. His large hands motioned towards the lake and I noticed that all of the first years would glance up at him nervously. I laughed as I walked by.

"Hey Hagrid!" He smiled and waved. Harry, Ron and Ginny greeted him as well and then we piled into the closest carriage.

"I am _so _hungry!" Harry cried. He clutched his stomach as it growled noisily. Everyone heard it and we started to laugh.

"Nice Harry. That's very attractive." I told him and smirked. He smiled back. His face was bright red.

"I can't help it. I need fooooood!" He argued as he rocked back and forth to ease the growls but that only intensified them.

Once the carriage made its way to the top of the hill Harry and Ron ran into the Great Hall to get seats. They must have thought that getting there early would let them eat but the completely forgot about the First Years ceremony. When they realized this Harry groaned (his stomach did as well).

For fifteen minutes Professor McGonagall recited the names of the First Years to come up to the stool and put on the sorting hat. There were 20 new people added to our house and everyone was delighted when it was over. Food was more important to them than the Sorting. Especially to the guys.

Once Dumbledore made his beginning of the year speech the food appeared and everyone dug in. It was _delicious_. I definitely over ate, but that's alright. I needed the food anyways.

After a good hour of eating and talking, everyone was ready to rest. The prefect's led everyone up to their respected Common Room's. This year I wasn't one, but I didn't mind. Professor Dumbledore told me at the end of fifth year that he thought I had too much to deal with. He was right. I was disappointed at first to not be a Prefect, but after a while I was glad. There was too much work involved.

Harry, Ron, Ginny and I caught up with a few of our other fellow Gryffindor friends by the fire before retiring to my room. I loved my dorm. I shared it with three other girls but that didn't matter. We were all friends as it is.

As I made my way into my room, I noticed that the house elves had already placed all of my belongings into the drawers near my bed. I gave up on my fight to free them after fifth year because I realized that they actually _enjoyed _working. It came as a surprise to me at first, but oh well, I can't change them.

I pulled on my pajama's which currently consisted of a white t-shirt and shorts and then slipped into my bed. It was _so _comfortable. Much more so than my bed at home. I snuggled up into the warm satin sheets and closed my eyes. Within minutes I was asleep. Images flew through my head, but they were all of _one _person… Draco Malfoy. If only I knew he was in the same predicament as me.

But there was one thing I knew for certain. I couldn't wait for this year to start. And I knew that _this year_ I was going to get Draco Malfoy. Yes, I would. It might take a while, but I was going to get him, and nobody was going to stop me.

* * *

**A.N.** Dun dun dun! Yay, I got the second chappie up! And it's sooner than expected. I'm going to try to update this story weekly. What do you think? Was this chapter good? I hope so. By the way, thank you SO much to all of you who reviewed already! Your reviews _really _motivated me. I know, I didn't get my 40 … but hopefully this time I'll get over 60. Possibly, maybe? I dunno, just review. Even if you didn't like it. Just don't be _too _harsh. Thanks everyone

Thanks to:** devilchild13, Beach-Babi, Melody, Firennissi Assassin, Malfoy's Dark Angel, Goddess of Gorgeousness, PuReBLoOdaZn, Erika, Slytherin-Princess86, LadyLuck13, zanni, emerald sparrow, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, Cadee Blaze42, Nixin, ObSsEsSeD, Sophia elenchild, anonymous (the DM/HG story is coming, please be patient, it was only the prologue), mish-serenity, Kace08, vcklovestf, ginny-wannabee, revelyn, AngelFxyBaby, Darkwing731, Mistress-of-Mystery, evahyoung**

Oh yeah, check out my **LiveJournal.** I'll be using that to keep you updated on my progress and other stuff. I'm still not sure how it works so help is welcomed.

**--BrOoMsTiCkK**


	3. The Legitimacy Serum

**Toxic Kisses**

**The Legitimacy Serum**

**A.N.** Heyy everyone! Your support for this story has been awesome. You really have motivated me. So anyways, here is the next chapter. The longer A.N. will be at the bottom along with Thank You's.

**(Chapter song: Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson)**

* * *

I was in paradise. 

Well not exactly, I was with _him_. Our hands were intertwined and we were running down the school corridors. I was ecstatic.

Suddenly he stopped and turned to face me. I smiled and looked up into his shimmering grey eyes. They were no longer cold, but warm and open. It was like looking into his soul. No wonder why he never let anyone see him like this.

"I love you Hermione," He whispered into my ear. I was pushed up against the wall. The cool stone sent shivers down my spine and through out my body.

"Draco," I muttered. I closed my eyes as I felt him fill the gap in-between us. "I love you too."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Hermione," he called but for some reason I wouldn't answer. "Hermione? Hermione!" This time he was shouting.

"Hermione! Wake up!" I saw him say. What the hell? I was awake. "Hermione!" Suddenly I started to shake. I turned over to my side and heard a female voice calling me now. Draco began to fade away. I tried to run towards him but he was disappearing as fast as he came. No! Don't go! …But he did.

"Hermione! Come on! It's the first day of classes! You _need _to wake up!" I opened one of my eyes and then instantly shut it again. Damn it was bright out. "Hermione, I'm serious. You need to get up _now!_ If you don't, I swear to Merlin, I will throw you out of your bed."

I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them. Lavender Brown was standing over me. "Finally! Merlin Hermione, I thought you died or something."

I smiled weakly. It was too early in the morning. I slowly began to sit up as she walked over towards her bed. She was already dressed, and the other two girls were already down in the common room. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and then stood up. My vision became a fuzzy blur from getting up too fast but after a few seconds it stopped. I made my way towards the bathroom and turned on the shower. Quickly I removed my pajamas and stepped in. With a sigh I let the warm water beat down against my body.

As I washed myself I thought back to my dreams. "I love you Hermione," echoed in my mind. Who said that? I paused and thought hard. I remembered reading somewhere that 5 minutes after you wake up you forget fifty percent of your dreams content, and 10 minutes later you forget almost ninety percent. I still had time to remember it. I had only been awake for about 5 minutes.

Oh my god. I stopped washing my hair and just stood there. Draco said it. In my dream Draco told me that he loved me. What the hell? Whoa. I blinked and spaced out. I was only brought back to reality when Lavender whacked the door.

"Hermione what the _hell _is taking you so damn long? Are you drowning in there now!" I laughed.

"No Lav, it's okay. I was just getting out."

"Good. You have five minutes to get out here, or I'm leaving for breakfast without you! And remember, we have Potions first with the Slytherins!"

"Alright. I'll be out in two." Quickly I rinsed myself off and stepped out of the shower. I performed a quick drying spell and slipped into my robes. Then I brushed out my hair and pulled it back into a bun and applied a little makeup with a spell Lavender had taught me before the end of fifth year. It was _so _useful. It's a shame I didn't know it beforehand.

I opened the door to see Lavender getting ready to leave. She threw my books at me and thankfully I caught them and slipped them into my bag.

"Come on you slow poke, I'm _starving_!" I smiled and walked up next to her. Together, we strolled down the Hogwart's corridors on one mission. To find _food_.

"So how was your summer, Lav?" I asked her politely. I really haven't had a chance to catch up with her, so why not do it now?

"Good," she replied calmly and then broke into an unusually large smile. I knew what this meant.

"Lavender! Who is ittt?" I squealed with delight. I just loved to hear about the sweet things guy's have done for their girl friends. Lavender always seemed to get the good ones.

"Well," she began, "His name's Matt. Matt Heffurn. I met him over the summer at a club. He is a seventh year at some other school of magic. It's insanely similar to Hogwarts. I'm surprised I haven't heard of it, have you?"

I shook my head. She sighed.

"Anyways, so we started dating after like two weeks, and Hermione, he is _so _sweet!" I smiled as she continued to ramble on. In no time we were outside of the Great Hall doors, and together we sauntered in. Lavender continued to talk as we made our way to the Gryffindor table, and I just nodded and added a few "Oh my god! He is _so _sweet!" and "No way! He did?" She'd nod her head enthusiastically and then add yet _another _adorable and romantic gesture he did for her. Why couldn't _I _have my own knight in shining armor? I can only wish. I sighed and sat in between Harry and Ginny, Lavender sat across from me and next to Ron, who blushed a deep red. _Aww, he likes her._ I smiled at his flushed features, and then at Lavender who just finished her story.

"- and right before I left for Hogwarts, he gave me this white rose and he told me 'Lavender, each day we are separated, this rose will get darker in color, and by the time this school year is over, it shall be a beautiful mix of pink, reds and whites. It's a symbol to show you how much I really care for you.' Isn't that so _adorable_! Merlin, I love Matt! I really think I do."

I looked at her glowing features. Lavender was so beautiful. "He sounds _great_, Lav, he _really,_ does. You should keep him!"

She nodded her head quickly. "Of course I am! What do you think I am, crazy! What kind of girl leaves a guy who does _all _that for her!"

I laughed, "Definitely not you!"

"Duh!"

We laughed once again, and began to eat. Harry and Ron had already eaten three whole pancakes, two fried eggs, four pieces of bacon and two sausages, along with downing 2 goblets of Pumpkin Juice.

"Jeez Hermione!" Ron exclaimed as he watched me cut my pancake into bitable pieces. "Why the bloody hell do you cut your food! It takes _too _much time! Just shove it into your mouth!"

I shook my head and let out a small laugh.

"Oh Ronnikins, will you _ever_ learn?" He gave me a confused look, and waited for me to continue but I didn't. Ginny started to laugh as Ron began to shove down some more food.

Harry got the hint and picked up his knife and began to cut his food. Ron glanced over at him, in between mouthfuls of food.

"Harry! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Ron lunged forward and grabbed the knife out of Harry's hands. "No, no, no! Men _do not _eat with knives. It takes too much time! Didn't you hear me explain this to Hermione!"

Harry laughed and with a sigh said, "Alright Ron, for once in your life, you are right. But I think I'm full." Ron crinkled his eyebrows in confusion.

"But _Harry_," he whined, "That's only your fourth pancake!" Ginny and I rolled our eyes.

"Well we have potions in fifteen minutes, and I don't want to throw up too much food when I see that grease ball Snape."

Ron dropped his fork and pushed back his plate. "You're right. Merlin, why do they have to this to us!"

I smiled and began to eat as everyone else chattered joyously. Contently I sat there and thought about the upcoming day. _Potions with the Slytherins. I'll be able to see Draco._ Internally I let out a yelp of delight. _Draco is gorgeous._

Quietly, I finished the last of my breakfast and wiped my mouth with my napkin, which I then folded and placed on my plate. I glanced around the Great Hall, and then back down at the table. Suddenly, I felt like I was being watched. You know that feeling don't you? When you can feel someone's eyes on you, but you don't know why. It's an especially freaky feeling when you can't see the onlooker.

Nervously I looked up from the table and straight across the hall. My honey brown eyes instantly became locked on to a pair of cold, grey eyes. Draco's eyes. My body trembled slightly. He smirked at me, and held my gaze for a few more seconds before looking away.

_Why did he do that? Did he _want_ me to look at him? Oh my god, what did that mean!_

"Hermione? Hello? Earth to Hermione!" I shook my head and looked up to see Ron waving a hand in front of my face. "Come on you space cadet, its time for Potions. Try to stay down here on Earth, rather than up in space. It's better down here." He smiled at me and I laughed.

Together we linked arms and we paraded down to the Potions classroom. Harry was on my left side and his eyes twinkled with mirth as I slipped my arm into his as well. Life was great right now. Just great.

* * *

"Welcome back. I'm sure this year will be asenjoyable as the previous," Snape drawled sarcasticallyas he scanned the room with his beady eyes. Like usual, the Slytherins and Gryffindors separated themselves. The Gryffindors were on the right side of the room, the Slytherin's were on the left. I was sitting at the second to last table in between Ron and Harry. They were passing notes and drawing Quidditch plans, while I sat there and listened intently. 

As Snape began his usual 'beginning of the year' speech, I scanned the room. The Gryffindors were all paying attention, and trying not to do anything that would upset Snape. The last thing we all wanted was for house points to be deducted for absolutely no reason, and on the first day of classes.

The Slytherins were sitting there all smug. Some were twirling their quills, while others, like Draco and his goonies, were drawing some of the Gryffindor's dieing.

Just as I looked at Draco, he looked up and caught my eyes once again. He stared right back at me, and then threw a paper airplane that landed on the table I was at. I watched him smirk, and then I turned to face the desk. With shaky fingers I opened the airplane. Something inside was moving.

_What could it say? Is it something good? Ahh! Just open it Hermione. Just open it!_

Carefully, I smoothed it out on the table and then focused on the picture. It was a drawing of me, with my bushy hair. I was standing in the library, in front of all of the bookshelves. I was holding too many books and my knees were shaking from the weight. Above my head it said "Beware! I am the hair monster nerd! Rarr!"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn as I watched the rest of the note. Suddenly, all of the bookshelves behind me, started to collapse on one another, and the last one, the one I was standing in front of, fell right on top of me. Killing me, squishing me, crushing me alive.

A small whimper escaped my lips. I don't know why. I had gotten so good at hiding my emotions, but this just brought back all of those horrible childhood memories.

"Ms. Granger," Snape shouted at me. His eyes narrowed, and he licked his lips, as if he could _taste_ the trouble he was about to start. "Would you like to share that note to the class?"

I glanced up at him. My eyes were tearing up. I shook my head and in a steady strong voice I said "No Professor. This paper isn't a note, but _notes_ I had taken for this class."

He raised his eyebrows. "Ms. Granger, we _haven't _started anything yet, so how could you _possibly _have notes?" This comment made the Slytherins snicker, and the Gryffindors groan. They knew we were about to get points taken off. I covered the paper with my arms, as Harry and Ron tried to look at it. Harry must have seen some of it, because he clenched his fists and glared at Draco, who in return just smirked.

"My, my, Ms. Granger. It looks like your 'notes' are getting Mr. Potter aggravated. Why don't you bring them up to me?"

I glared at Snape. He was so disgusting, and filthy, and _greasy_. I hated him with a passion. The Gryffindors probably hated him more than the whole Slytherin House. Well, I know for sure that _I _did!

Slowly, I pushed back my chair and walked towards the front of the room. I held my head high, and walked with confidence. I practiced during the summer. I might as well perfect this shield and false façade that hid my actual feelings from the world. It was hard work, but it was worth it.

With a sly smile he took the paper from my hands and watched the short movie play. Once it was done, he looked up at me and smirked. "Who wrote this note to Ms. Granger?" The class looked around, and all their eyes stopped on Draco as he raised his hand.

"I did Professor." He drawled lazily, like saying those three words were going to kill him.

"Very creative Mr. Malfoy." Draco smirked at him, and then at me. His eyes were glowing with pride. "Five points from Gryffindor-" Snape announced after Draco finished.

"WHAT!" Ron cried from the back of the room. I closed my eyes and shook my head. _Please Ron, don't start._

"-because of Ms. Granger's note reading during class." I could feel my face flush as everyone's eyes were focused on me yet again. With my head down, I sauntered back to my seat and sat down. As I walked by Draco mumbled "Good job, mudblood."

"And another five points for Mr. Weasley's outburst." Snape finished. Ron sat back in his seat and pouted. I wouldn't look up. "Now that we've got _that _settled, let's begin today's class."

Potion's went without another interruption, and not once did I look up. Instead, I just took notes on everything Snape was saying. Tomorrow we were going to start a project with a member of another house, which meant I would be stuck with one of those Slytherin pureblood prats.

"Out now!" Was the last thing Snape shouted. I let out a sigh of relief and quickly gathered my books and slipped them into my bag which I put on my shoulder. I managed to slip out of the Potions classroom without any other confrontations, and for that I was thankful. At least I had Transfiguration with the Huffelpuffs. They were always nice to me.

* * *

Today went by so slowly. It was horrible. I was overjoyed when the last class of the day was dismissed. I had homework, and I was glad. I needed something to distract me from everything that happened today. Especially the whole Potions incident. Maybe I could just forget about it, like I forgot about most of my childhood. It'd take some time, but I could manage. 

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron exclaimed in unison as I entered through the portrait hole.

"What the bloody hell did Malfoy write on that damn piece of parchment!" Ron demanded. His face was a bright red, and you could tell he was furious. Harry and him must have been talking about this before I walked in.

"It was nothing," I quietly replied. I didn't want the whole common room to hear our conversation, even though Ron had attracted as much attention as possible from his small outburst.

"Hermione, please," Harry pleaded, "I saw part of that note. Draco drew you _dieing_," I winced, "Please, tell me what else was on there." Harry then dropped his voice, "Ron and I can get them back. We have the invisibility cloak **and** the Marauder's Map."

I forced a smile and the shook my head, "No, don't go after them. We don't need to loose anymore points today. Besides, that note is nothing new. I'm used to those types of things."

Ron raised his eyebrows, "You looked pretty hurt Hermione," I glared at him.

"Wouldn't you? Especially if someone sent you a _death _wish?" Harry and Ron visibly flinched at my tone. The harshness in it even surprised me. "Look, wow, I'm sorry guys. I know you are both just trying to help, but I really need to be alone right now. I have loads of homework-"

"We can help," Ron piped in. He seemed eager, but when he saw that I was still upset he mellowed down, "Sorry."

"Ron, no, it's not you. It's just me. This is not how I wanted to start off my first day of Sixth Year. I'll be fine tomorrow. Don't worry." I plastered a smile on my face, which I knew they could see through, and I ran up to my room. I threw my books on my bed, shut my curtains, put a silencing and locking charm on them and screamed. I screamed and cried for hours until I couldn't any more. It was around seven when I finally started my homework. I skipped dinner. I wasn't hungry anyways.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with a splitting head ache. I rubbed my eyes and grabbed some Advil out of my dresser drawer. I charmed it to work immediately, and within seconds my headache was gone. With ease I removed the locking and silencing charms and made my way towards the bathroom. I took a quick shower, and got dressed and I grabbed my books and made my way down to breakfast. 

Once again I sat in between Harry and Ginny, and across from Lavender and Ron. I smiled and talked animatedly with everyone. I ate a large amount of breakfast, and drank a full goblet of juice, something I usually didn't do.

"Well, I'm glad someone's feeling better," Harry whispered in my ear which caused me to smile.

"Me too," I lied. He believed me though. I felt so bad, but it was just part of the façade. No one could know I was hurting. Yesterday I had been weak. I had let my guard down just because of Draco. I couldn't do that anymore. No I couldn't.

After breakfast, Harry, Ron and I had Transfiguration, Herbology, Lunch, and then Potions. I had dreaded this class _all _day, and now it had finally come.

As quietly and inconspicuous as I could be, I slipped into the classroom. I took my seat and took out my books, parchment and quill. Draco was already in the room, which was a surprise, and I could feel his eyes follow me all the way to my seat.

Just after the last straggler entered the room, Snape walked in.

"Today I will assign you your partners from another house for this upcoming project. You will be expected to research the assigned potion and create it to the best of your ability. There will be ten class periods provided to brew this concoction, but you _must _do your research **outside** of class. Does everyone understand me?"

The class answered with a resounding 'yes'.

"Good. I expect a bottled sample of the assigned potion on my desk by no later than October 1st. And I _do not_ want any of you to tell me that you finished your potion ahead of schedule. Each of the selected tonics takes at least ten classes to complete, so there shall be _no _excuses. And if there are, there _will _be punishment. Understand?"

There were mutters of "Yes Professor" heard through out the room.

"Okay. Now here are your partners. Potter and Parkinson, Weasley and Goyle, Longbottom and Matthews," Snape continued down the list. I held my breath until he got to my name. "Ahh, Granger. Hmm, let's see. Granger and Crabbe." I released my breath. _Why him_? "No, wait, Crabbe you can go with Brown, Granger, you and Mr. Malfoy can work together. You better get along." He smirked at us, and Draco glared at him. If looks could kill, Snape would have been dead on the spot. I shuttered, and gathered my belongings and moved next to Draco. Harry and Ron patted my back sympathetically and I smiled weakly at their kind gestures.

As I sat down, Draco coughed. It wasn't a real one, but one of those fake "Ew, get away from me," coughs. I rolled my eyes. I had to be strong, and that's exactly what I was going to do.

"Look, I know this is a horrible predicament, and believe me, I don't want to work with you," Lie number one, "As much as you don't want to work with me. So, let's just try to get through this month with out a whole bunch of bickering and fighting. Please?"

Draco just stared at me. "Fine. But I don't want to be seen talking to you when I don't have to. Okay? Don't walk up to my in the halls, and _do not _talk to me during Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner, or any time in between. Do you understand?"

I sighed and nodded. "It's all for the better. Now what's the Potion we were assigned?" Draco shrugged and made no move on finding out, so I stood up and walked towards Snape.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry Professor, but what is Mr. Malfoy's and my potion?" Snape glared at me and grumbled as he flipped through his notes.

"You two must do the…" He paused as he continued to look, "The Legitimacy Serum".

I nodded and thanked the Professor before returning to Draco.

"What is it?" He inquired with absolutely **no** interest in his voice.

"The Legitimacy Serum." I replied before opening up my Potions text book and taking out an extra piece of parchment.

"And what the _hell _does that mean?"

"Well, that's what we're going to find out tonight."

"Excuse me!" He asked, well more like demanded. "Who says I'm going _anywhere _with _you _mudblood?"

I held back the urge to cringe, but instead, I looked right up at him. "Must you call me a mudblood? I know I am one, but please, this will be so much easier if you don't. Just stick with Granger, alright Malfoy?"

He sneered.

"And to answer your question, tonight we are going to the library. Okay? Do you want to get this over with or not?"

He shrugged.

"If not, then we can take this study time out of your Quidditch Practices." Draco jumped at this and you could see his eyes flash in anger.

"Tonight is fine." He replied with gritted teeth. "What time?"

"Eight. Right after dinner. Don't be later. Okay?"

"Fine."

For the rest of the class he scribbled on his Potion's notes while I skimmed through my Potion's book to see if there was anything on The Legitimacy Serum, and of course there wasn't.

"You can leave now," Snape drawled from the front of the room. Everyone dashed out of his class. Draco was the first.

As I exited the room, I heard Harry and Ron running behind me to catch up.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, "Wait up!" I stopped and leaned against the wall as the walked up besides me. "What the hell is Snape's problem!"

Harry shrugged, "He just wants to make us go through hell."

"Yeah, but why make his own house go through it as well?" I questioned. Both Harry and Ron raised their eyebrows.

"Maybe he was forced into doing it. I mean, there has been such a big rivalry between the two houses for _ages_." Ron stated.

"Wow Ron, this year must be your year!" Harry exclaimed. Ron laughed. "Because Ron, I think you're right. What if, Dumbledore made Snape do this? What if he's trying to bring all of the houses together?"

The three of us pondered this thought and finally came up with a conclusion. This definitely wasn't Snape's idea. Someone else was behind this, and it most definitely was Dumbledore.

"Great, just bloody great," Ron exclaimed, "If they make us do _anything _outside of class with those slimy gits, I will, I will, I don't know! But what ever it is, it will be bad!"

"Just like when you told Malfoy to eat slugs but you did instead. Bad like that, right?" Harry teased. Ron blushed and playfully hit Harry in the arm.

"You are next Mr. Potter! You are next!" We all burst into laughter as we walked into the Gryffindor Common Room. I separated myself from them and caught up with Ginny. I told her everything that had happened (I acted extremely disgusted when I mentioned Malfoy, each and every time) and she cringed at my horrible fate.

"Wow Hermione, that sucks." She stated.

"I know," I shook my head and look down at my bed. "And the worst thing is I have to meet Malfoy tonight in the library to do some research."

She stuck out her tongue. "Better you than me!" I gave her a fake death glare and grabbed a pillow and threw it at her.

"You _aren't_ helping Ginny!" I laughed as she pelted me with a pillow.

"Of course not!" I rolled my eyes and began working on my homework with her, and before I knew it, it was time for dinner.

* * *

As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about being alone with Draco in the library. I just couldn't. I was getting nervous. It was going to be just me and him, alone, together, secluded in the back corner of the library. 

"Hermione are you okay?" Harry asked me. He placed a hand on my forehead. "You're shaking, but you don't have a temperature."

"Thank you _Dad_," I replied sarcastically. I smiled to show him I was only joking. He laughed.

"I'm sorry my dear. It's just that I care for my little Hermione!"

"Who are you calling little, mister!" I retorted. My eyes danced with laughter.

"I'm calling _you_ little. Because you are just such a small little thing. I remember when you were two-"

I hit his arm playfully. "You didn't even _know _me when I was two!" He rolled his eyes.

"Of course I did Hermione. I'm your _father!_" He said the last sentence like he was in Star Wars (a muggle movie). I couldn't stop laughing. Ron and Ginny just looked at us confused, and then continued their conversation when we wouldn't answer.

When my laughter subsided, I began to eat. Harry always knew how to cheer me up, and boy did I love him for it.

Before I knew it, Draco was off my mind, and I was lost in the chatter of my friends. My thoughts were drawn away from my friends when I saw Draco stand up to walk away. There were only about 10 people from each house at their tables. I glanced at my watch. It was five of eight.

"Oh no! Sorry guys, I have to go and do some research! I'll be back later tonight. I am so sorry!"

Harry and Ron rolled their eyes but Ginny smirked at me. In her eyes I could see she was rubbing in the fact that I had to spend time with Malfoy. But I didn't mind.

Quickly I grabbed my bag and ran towards the library. As I made my way up the stairs, I saw people from every house but Gryffindor standing in front of this bulletin board. People were laughing and someone shouted. "Look here she comes now!"

Everyone in the crowd turned to stare at me. I glared at everyone. "Let her see!" A female shouted, and the swarm of students parted for me. I walked down to the bulletin board and saw the note that Draco had written to me. I stood in horror as I watched myself get crushed by those bookshelves.

"Who did this!" I shouted enraged. "Who put this up here!" No one answered. I pushed my way past everyone and ran towards the library.

"Aww, look there she goes. Maybe she'll die tonight." A male shouted from behind me. I wouldn't look back. My eyes were burning with tears. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt people watching me make my retreat. I stopped and I felt someone watching from the side. I glanced over. It was Draco, and for some reason, it looked like he was just a little sympathetic. But how could he be? He was probably the one who put that note on the board. How could he!

I looked away and ran into my corner of the library. Once I reached the chair I collapsed and threw my bag onto the ground. I buried my head in my arms and cried. How could someone do this to me? I thought they were done with all of this tormenting. I felt myself getting dizzy and overwhelmed with everything that had just happened. It all occurred so quickly. Why did this happen! Why?

I sat back and sniffed. My eyes were blotchy, so I wiped them with my sleeve. I slipped my hand in my pocket to look for a tissue, but instead I found the knife I took from my house. Swiftly I looked around the library. There was no body else in here. Carefully I slipped the knife out of my pocket and placed it on my wrist, and I slid it across. I felt the blood begin to ooze out. It felt so good. I was getting rid of that dirty blood, and it was oh so nice.

Only two more slices. I cut my arms twice more and then placed the bloodied knife back into my pocket. I watched the blood drip down my arms for a few minutes before clotting the bleeding with a spell. I rolled down my sleeves and fixed my hair and robes. Draco should be arriving any moment now, and right on queue he did.

"Okay, let's get this over with Granger."

I nodded and then went off into the bookshelves to find a book on the Legitimacy Serum. After I found four, I walked back to the table and put them down. "Well, let's start reading."

Draco eyed the books and solemnly agreed. This was going to be one long night.

Hour after hour we read and took notes, and by one in the morning we had all of the necessary information.

"Alright," he began. I looked up from notes and into his eyes, "The Legitimacy Serum is basically a truth tonic. When ever the drinker takes it, he answers every question asked honestly. It is mostly used for prisoners or during torture. This Serum was mostly commonly found in use by the Dark Lord." His voice died down at the end of the sentence and then looked down at his notes.

I didn't say anything.

"Okay, I think that's good for now." He nodded. I began to fold up my notes and place them into my bag, and as I did so, I noticed him eye my wrists. I glanced down at them. The cuts were fresh and still a dark crimson. He couldn't see them though, could he? I did put on that look away spell this morning. I shook my head and rid those thoughts from my head. _Don't scare yourself Hermione._

I gathered up the books and placed them back on their respected shelves. When I returned, he was gone. I tried not to look disappointed, but I was. The only thing that was left was his vanilla-woodsy scent. I inhaled deeply. He smelt so good.

I looked around the library. No body was left. Even Madame Prince had gone to bed, but she had allowed Draco and me to spend as much time as we needed. It helped to be the librarians pet. I smirked to myself and gathered the rest of my notes, slipped then into my bag and exited the library.

"Pixie Dust," I muttered to the Fat Lady who glared at me through sleepy eyes.

"You know, you shouldn't be out this late dear." I nodded and then walked through the portrait hole. Once I was up in my room, I dropped my bag onto the floor and took off my shoes. I placed them on the ground and noticed a folded paper with my name on it. It was written in a swirly and neat cursive. I picked it up and lay down on my bed. I opened it but it was too dark to read. All I could see was the name _Draco_.

_Draco? What? Why the hell does this say Draco? Did Draco write this to me? Read it Hermione._

I tried to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't. Before I knew it, I fell into a deep sleep. The note lay forgotten by my side. The note Draco wrote to me. But what did it say?

* * *

**A.N.** Okay, yay! I finished! Believe it or not, I actually wrote 90 percentof this in 3 hours. It took a while, but I like the outcome. Don't you? Review PLEASE! Please, please, please! Review lots. Reviews motivate me! 

And check out my **LiveJournal**, yet again **(the Link is in my bio).** You can leave comments. I don't think it matters if you have an account or not. You can leave an anonymous comment. Everything is welcomed.

Oh and **Thanks to**: **EuphoniumGurl0, X8DramaQueen8X, ur greatest fan, Beach-Babi, baily89, InLove09, ginny-wannabee, Nixin, Kace08, ObSsEsSeD, TomFeltonsDancer, strawberryblueberrykitten, In Dreams, Goddess of Gorgeousness, girl4BRITISHguys. **Your awesome!


	4. Burning Desire

**Toxic Kisses**

**Burning Desire**

**A.N.** Thanks for the reviews yet again! Check the bottom for more. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

(**Chapter Song**: My Last Breath by Evanescence)

* * *

"Wake up Hermioneeee! Wake up Hermioneeee!" something screeched near my ear. I groaned and rolled over. It was my alarm clock, specially made for me by Ron.

"God damn you Ron," I moaned as I pressed the sleep button.

"Oh no you don't!" I heard a voice from the door. I closed my eyes and turned to my side. I needed sleep! Suddenly I heard my curtains being pulled open and felt the sun shining through.

_What the hell is with this sun!_ _Why am I _always_ woken up by it! Urghh. Damn it to oblivion!_

"Get up, get up, sleepy head!" I turned and opened my eyes to see who the intruder was. It was Ginny.

"Ginny, please let me sleep! Lavender woke me up yesterday and now _you?_ I need to sleep. Honestly, I do." She just raised an eyebrow as I squinted at her.

"So what did you and _lover boy_ do last night that's made you so tired, huh?"

I closed my eyes tightly and rubbed my temples with my fingers. "We spent five hours researching that damned potion, The Legitimacy Serum. And then we left around one _in the morning_," I made sure I emphasized how late it was. Maybe I could get some sympathy, but I was wrong, "and came up to sleep." She nudged me playfully, "In our_ **own **_rooms, thank you very much." I opened my eyes and glared at her.

"Alright, alright, Hermione. I believe you. Now just hurry up and take a shower and grab your stuff. I want to make it to breakfast at a decent time."

I rolled my eyes. Weasley's and their food. Not like Ginny was bad, but Ron, Merlin, he was as hopeless case. But then again, most guys are when it comes to eating. They don't care if they make a mess, just as long as the food makes it to their mouth. And then, there are some who eat with elegance and are very polite. Like _Draco_.

I smiled and removed myself from the safe confines of my bed.

"Finally," Ginny said with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice, but I knew she didn't mean it, "I'll be down in the common room waiting."

"Alright, I should be done in twenty minutes, tops." Ginny nodded and waltzed her way out the door.

I slipped into the bathroom and shed my robes from last night. Quickly I took a shower, and going over everything that had just happened.

Draco had smelt so good. So damn good. It was dizzying. He was dizzy. I get so lightheaded when I'm around him. What's wrong with me?

I let out a frustrated sigh as I rinsed off. Why did he just leave? He just left me there, _alone_. And all he left was a note. If he hadn't, I probably wouldn't have believed he was actually there. He had been so quiet, and kind. Not once did he lash out, nor did he call me mudblood. He was just... I don't know. I guess he was just civilized with me for once. Like that'd ever happen again.

I turned off the shower and dried myself, and then I went through my normal morning routine. I stepped out of the bathroom, and walked towards my bed. Hastily I shoved my books, parchment and quills into my bag. It had almost been twenty minutes, and I _hated_ breaking a promise, never mind being late. I glanced around my bed once more and then noticed a white piece of folded parchment. I grabbed it and stood there shocked. It was the note that Draco had given me the night before. I couldn't believe I had forgotten!

_Deep breathes Hermione. Remember to breathe. Remember to breathe._

With a few controlled breaths, I slipped my trembling fingers into the folded piece of parchment and began to open it. What did it say! I paused as I unfolded the last part. Already I could see my name written neatly at the top of the page. Well, my last name. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Maybe this wasn't going to be so grand.

I let my eyes scan the top margin of the paper as I unfolded the last part, when suddenly there was heavy banging on the door and Ginny came bounding in.

"Hermione come on," she shouted as I swiftly refolded the note and placed it in my robe pocket. I'd look at it later. Ginny then grabbed my arm and started to drag me towards the door. I just managed to grab my bag as we left the room, "It's been more than twenty minutes you know. I was being generous, but then again, I _hate_ starving. If it weren't for people in the world like _you_, nobody would have to worry about that. But _nooo_, you need to take forever and a half to get dressed." She turned to smile at me to show she was joking. I laughed.

"Oh please Ginny," I spat out, "Like you don't take that long to get ready?"

She turned with a serious expression on her face, "Hermione dear, it's called waking up early. Try it some time." I rolled my eyes and started to laugh.

"Sure Ginny. Do I seem like the type of person who'd wake up early just to look good? Come on, I'll just stick with the spell Lavender taught me. I'd rather not actually apply my own makeup. More than likely, it'd come out horribly, and I'd look like a monster."

There was a muffled laughter from behind me. I turned, angry at who ever had been eavesdropping on my conversation with Ginny. My eyes scanned the brightly lit stone corridors. They always seemed so eloquent to me, I just don't know why. They were only stone after all, weren't they? But then again, this _was_ Hogwarts. A place where you could enter a classroom and find a room full of chocolate or dungbombs and never find it again. Needless to say, Hogwarts could be as crazy as I was at times, if not crazier. But that's what made it so much fun. Not knowing what was going to happen next. No wonder why Harry and Ron lived their life without regrets. Doing _anything_ that amused them, even if it did result in detentions, reduction of house points, or possible expulsion. Everything was more exciting that way. That's probably why I had fallen so hard for Draco. You never knew what was going to happen with him. Some days he'd be a bomb ready to go off, and others, he was just calm. He wouldn't try to call me names, or remark on my blood unless he absolutely had to. It was those kind of days that I enjoyed being around him.

Draco had feelings. I knew this. I could just tell, even though he tried so hard to hide them, albeit it was well done. But rarely, could you look into his eyes and understand what he was feeling. He was like me, closed off from the world, except he had perfected it to a tee. He knew how to shield his feelings, hide his thoughts, keep the same dark, cool and collected demeanor under any circumstances and most of all, guard his soul from everyone and everything.

For so long, I have wanted to be able to control myself like he did. To not let a single tear slide down my cheek, or a whimper of pain escape my lips as I heard those horrible comments about me. Nobody could understand what I went through, and still, nobody _can_. And the worst part was that all of this was caused because of _one thing._ Because I was book-smart. I could memorize facts easily, and perfect a spell within minutes. Something nobody else could do, but I could, and I loved and still love the rush. But of course, it always comes with horrible consequences.

Basically, the tormenting, the teasing, and the name calling. Sure, I try to pretend like nothing's wrong. I try so _damn_ hard. But come on. For anyone who has _ever_ been teased or put down, you know what its like. You know that horrible pain you feel inside of you when you hear those horrible words pour out of someone's mouth. "You're so ugly," or, "God, you're such a cow, you freak! Why don't you go crawl into some corner and die. You'd do the whole world a favor once your gone, you filthy bitch."

Everything inside of you seems to tighten, and you feel like you can't breathe. Like everything inside of you is being constricted, and the oxygen you thought you were breathing can't get anywhere. And then, the tears try to form in your eyes, but you know if you shed a single one, you'd be labeled a wimp. So you stand strong, trying to act confident and care-free, like the words that had hurt you so deeply meant nothing to you. Nothing what-so-ever.

It's so hard though! It honest to Merlin is. If only people knew what I went through. But they don't, and I don't think I'd ever be able to tell them, _ever_. And even if they did know, they wouldn't be sympathetic. More than likely they'd try to hurt me even more. They'd know what my weakness was and then try _even_ harder to break me. To destroy me until I had nothing left; until my walls had burned and every single ash had blown away, leaving me defenseless and exposed to the world. This fear has forever convinced me to stay strong, but lately, it's been hard to do. So freaking hard.

I shook my thoughts away quickly as I turned to face the harasser. My breath quickly got caught in my chest when I saw a pair of cold grey eyes flash angrily and look down into mine. I felt every part of me scream "It's Draco! He's so close!" as I was enveloped into a giant hug. I took in a deep breath and smelt a sweet cinnamon overcome me. This was so familiar. Doesn't Harry smell like this? And as Draco pulled away, I realized it wasn't him at all, it was Harry. I glanced away from his glowing smile and twinkling eyes and down towards the floor. I did not want him to see the disappointment on my face when I realized it wasn't the one my heart longed for.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked gently and I looked back up at him. _Remain strong Hermione! No one can know!_ I smiled sweetly and replied.

"Yeah, sorry guys. My stomach started to growl and I just realized how hungry I really was." Harry and Ginny laughed as we turned to enter the Great Hall. We walked over to the table and sat across from Ron who already had a fair share of breakfast, and was grabbing more before everyone else sat down. Ginny rolled her eyes and swatted Ron's hand away from the sausage.

"Ronald, where are your manners!" Hermione watched as Ron's eyes flashed with fright.

"Merlin Ginny, don't do that! You sounded just like Mum, and you know how angry she gets when I eat like this!" He said gratefully once he realized it was her, and once again he shoveled his food into his mouth.

Ginny looked at him distastefully, "I think she has her reasons." He just nodded, oblivious of what she said, and continued to eat. Occasionally, in between mouthfuls he'd talk to Harry about Quidditch, the upcoming season, and the latest Broom. Boys and their toys.

Absentmindedly I began to eat my breakfast. Lately it seemed like I blocked out the world and got lost in my thoughts, and usually my thoughts were on a blonde haired Slytherin seeker. My eyes traveled towards his table just as I saw him stand up. My brows crinkled together in confusion when he brushed away his friends, if you could call them that. Well that's a first.

Eloquently he walked down the long line of seats and towards the door. His black and green uniform made his blonde hair and grey eyes stand out even more than usual. _Hmm, I never realized that_. Shivers were suddenly sent through my body when his eyes locked onto mine. I gripped my fork so tight that I didn't even notice my knuckles turn white.

Quickly I looked away, but then had the sudden urge to look up again, and of course I did. This time he nodded his head towards the door. My face contorted with bewilderment. Draco Malfoy wanted to talk to me?

It seemed like he could read my thoughts because he nodded his head and then pointed towards the doors. With astonishing speed, I pushed back my plate and stood up. Harry, Ron, Ginny and a few other Gryffindors looked startled.

"Where are you goi-" Ron began to ask, but I just waved him away and walked as calmly as I could muster to the door. _Stay cool Hermione. Don't be obvious, be you. Stay calm, cool and collected. Act disgusted. You can do it, yes you can!_

And suddenly, sooner than I had wanted, I was standing face to face with the one and only Draco Malfoy. I bit my lip nervously and glanced around. Nobody was near by. Everyone was in the Great Hall eating, which meant if anything happened, no one would be here to save me. _Oh stop with those pessimistic thoughts Hermione. You should be happy to be standing here with a sex god, let alone the fact that he _wants_ to be in the hall _alone_ with you._

A smile crossed my face and Draco looked startled for a second, but within a moment he had regained his cool composure. I realized I should do the same, but be polite at the same time. Maybe I could get a few brownie points in doing so.

"So what do you want Malfoy?" I asked civilly; might as well be nice to him when I can.

"I asked you to meet me here Granger, remember?" I shook my head. _When the hell was this?_

"When, because I don't remember having a conversation in which we discussed a future meeting, such as this." He sent a glare in my direction and then rolled his eyes at my stupidity.

"You didn't get my note last night I assume?" Realization hit me straight on like an eighteen wheeler and I blushed from the embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah, right," I slipped my hand into my robe pocket and pulled it out, "I never got a chance to read it." Quickly I unfolded it and read it over.

_Granger,_

_Meet me outside of the Great Hall tomorrow morning at 8:15._

_-Malfoy_

I read it twice and then folded it back up and returned it to my pocket. "Oh," was all I could muster for the moment. Internally I was completely disappointed. I thought he had signed it with Draco, but last night I must've been delusional and saw things I only wanted to see, instead of the truth. _Damn it_. "Er, well, I'm-" I faltered for a second. Should I apologize to him, or should I not? Ugh! "-I'm here now. So what did you need?"

Draco gazed down at me and I felt extremely small. His eyes were a cool grey with specks of shimmering blue. _They are so gorgeous_.

"I needed to talk to you about last night," I nodded and swallowed with much difficulty to my dismay. The last thing I needed at the moment was to act like an eight year old school girl with her first crush. He paused for a second and it seemed like he was battling himself internally. "And about the note. I never really wanted it to get so out of hand. I-" He paused again. His eyes, which seemed to have lost their cold appearance, darted around the corridors and then back down at me. _Was_ _Draco Malfoy going to apologize to me!_ I took a deep breath and waited expectantly.

"What I'm trying to say is-" Suddenly he looked away from me and down the right hallway. It was a group of seventh year Slytherin's. Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini was part of the group. Draco glanced at them and then returned his stare to me. He became completely rigid; his eyes were cold and flashing with anger.

"Why the hell didn't you look in The Complete Guide of Potions and Their History yesterday! You would have saved us a shit load of trouble. But what can I expect? You're a filthy mudblood, and nothing good can come out of working with something as _despicable_ as you!"

I stood there startled. What the hell had just happened? He seemed fine just a few minutes ago and now he is completely angry with me. I was ready to apologize, because I wanted to remain on his agreeable side, but what the hell was I thinking? We only spent _one_ night in the library together because we _had_ to. No, I was going to be a bitch. What else could I do?

"Oh, _please_, Malfoy! Without me, you wouldn't have a clue on what to do."

He grunted in disgust, "Tsk, tsk Granger. You see, you don't understand how much easier it is when you aren't around. The world was so peaceful before you were born, _Hogwarts_ was so much cleaner before you arrived, and Gryffindor was a better house before you were sorted into it. You've destroyed _everything_, you bitch."

The words sunk into me and I felt like I had just gotten slapped in the face. I glared at him, and not once did I let my eyes water. I hated him so much right now. What the hell was I thinking? Why would I ever like _him_?

"And for your information, I am extremely intelligent, and even more so with out _your_ help." I rolled my eyes and let out a sarcastic grunt.

"Are you sure your parents aren't _paying_ your way to through Hogwarts? Because it seems apparent to me that someone like _you_, as spoiled as you are, wouldn't be able to make it through Hogwarts on his own." His eyes flashed dangerously and he stepped forward, narrowing the gap in between us. It was just like on the train. My heart began to beat out of control and I inhaled deeply. He smelt so good, I can't even put it into words.

"Don't you ever," he began. His teeth were gritted and each word came out in a soft, menacing growl, "Insult my intelligence _again,_ mudblood. You better watch yourself."

And with that he stepped back and walked down towards the Slytherin end of the castle. His robes bellowed out behind him as he stormed away. His blonde tendrils flew away from his face and got even messier with every step taken and I could tell his grey eyes were flashing furiously. I sighed and backed up against the wall. I really couldn't take this anymore. It seemed like every time I was around him, I'd build myself up, just so he could destroy me.

This was so frustrating. _He_ was so frustrating! I growled and marched back into the Great Hall, wiping my face clean of any sign of confusion or distress and rejoined my fellow Gryffindors. Today was going to be horrible, especially since I didn't know what Draco was trying to say to me before the Slytherin's walked by. _Fucking pureblooded prats._

* * *

Just like I had expected, the day dragged by extremely slow, slower than I had thought it would. Charms, my first class with Huffelpuff, had bored me to death, which is very bizarre, since it is one of my best classes. Then I had Transfiguration with Ravenclaw, and yet again I couldn't concentrate. It became very evident when McGonagall called on me to answer a question she had previously ask and I wasn't even able respond to correctly. I was ashamed, and every one else was flabbergasted.

"Hermione are you feeling okay?" Harry whispered into my right ear after McGonagall turned away after scolding me to pay attention.

"I'm ashamed of you Miss Granger. I expected so much more from our top student, especially since you are one of the few last brilliant minds of your year. Please don't continue this slacker behavior. Hopefully you are just having an off day." Her voice rang through my head, and still was after she had finished talking.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine Harry," I managed to answer quietly to his query.

"Are you sure, because it's not like you to not know answer a question when called on." I turned and gave him a blank stare. It appeared that this was more effective than a glare because he backed down and dropped the topic immediately. Internally I scolded myself as well. I knew I shouldn't be letting Draco fill my thoughts, but lately he was all I could think about.

Ashamed at my childish behavior, I looked down at my book and would not lift my eyes for any reason unless I absolutely had to. I knew that if I took a fleeting look at Professor McGonagall, I'd be overcome with so many emotions; I wouldn't know how to control them. I guess this is one of the side effects of having a crush on such an unattainable boy. _Good job Hermione, good freakin' job._

* * *

Transfiguration managed to go on without another interruption or embarrassing moment, much to my happiness, but this did not lift my mood in the least, for I knew I had Potions in an hour. I muttered something incoherent underneath my breath as I pushed my way gently out of the room.

I needed a way to get my mind off of my thoughts which I could barely contain any longer. I needed some sort of release. Anything, _something_ to help me stop thinking about _him._

As unnoticeable as possible, I passed by the various students who were chatting excitedly with friends or nervously trying to get to their next class (this mostly pertained to the first years). I for one was trying to get outdoors. The Hogwarts grounds were always so beautiful that it made my heart drop at the thought of not being able to curl up underneath one of the many trees with a book, or go lay out near the pond once I graduated. Even though I had experienced so many difficulties here, I never wanted to leave. Maybe I'd become a teacher at Hogwarts just so I could stay in my childhood home forever. Hmm, it wasn't such a bad idea.

I bit my lip as I saw the doors leading towards the outdoors. It was so close, and suddenly I felt my heart stop. Of all people who had to be standing by the doors, it just _had_ to be him. He must have noticed me as well, because he turned from Blaise and stared straight into my eyes. Luckily Blaise had his back to me, and Draco could only see me from his vantage point, but no sooner did Draco look at me, Blaise did as well. His lips moved quickly as he muttered something to Draco which brought a few snickers out of the two. _Now they were talking about me. Just how great was this day going to be?_

My breathing began to get heavy as I walked towards the doors. I picked up my pace as I neared the duo. _Don't say anything, please, don't say anything._ But my hopes were quickly shattered.

"If it isn't the nerdy mudblood. You're still alive? I thought that someone or something would have killed you by now, possibly a falling book case. I think I might need to take care of that issue personally," Blaise sniggered which caused a smirk to form on Draco's flawless features. My face burned at both the words spoken and how distracted I was by Draco's tremendously good looks.

"Oh shove off Zabini," I managed to retort in anger as I continued to walk outside. The last thing I wanted was another big confrontation with a Slytherin.

He shouted a reply to my back but I was oblivious to it and only heard jumbled noises. A feeling of relief past through my whole being as I sat down in front of my favorite tree. It was tall and gangly, with many branches. The first was only four feet from the ground, and the rest were evenly spaced around the trunk which made it perfect for climbing. I smiled and lay against it, letting my legs sprawl out in front of me, and my bag to drop by my side. My eyes took in my surroundings.

First the shimmering blue pond that was only six feet from the tip of my toe. Today it was a brilliant blue, with just enough contrast between dark and light to make it fall some where in between Navy Blue and Sky Blue. Ripples would occasionally pass through the water as various animals jumped out, usually just small magical fish, and sometimes some other unknown creature. It was so much fun to sit there and try to name as many animals as you could that popped out of the surface. I couldn't wait until the winter when the whole lake would freeze over, and I could come out and ice skate. Ever since I was a child I loved to skate. My Mum taught me when I was five and every day during the winter she'd take me to an ice skating rink to improve my skills. Skating was yet another release for me, and I have never found any other person in Hogwarts who enjoys it as much as me.

I ran my fingers through the grass as I reflected on my past. Simple things such as this always delighted me and brightened my mood to such an extent that I forget most awful happenings of the day. Thank Merlin for that.

Contently I closed my eyes and felt the sun beat down on my legs. I smiled as I felt its warmth, and noted that the few others who had this period off were doing the same as I. Some were sitting underneath or hanging from the other trees that encircled the pond, while others ran around or were just lying out underneath the sun to finish some homework.

I took a deep breathe and exhaled slowly, letting the smell of autumn fill my senses. I know you're probably thinking how can someone possibly _smell_ a season? Well the truth is _you can_. Each season has its own scent, but it's something you _can't_ explain, you just have to know what to look for. For one, after it rains, it always smells fresh, crisp and clean. Next time a season changes, or it rains, step outside and see if you can smell it. Trust me, you'll be able to.

So, for an hour, I lay against my favorite tree and enjoyed my surroundings. Many wouldn't see me as the type of girl who likes to be outside, but I do. I love it. I'm still not sure why. Maybe it's because I feel free for once, since there aren't any boundaries to the outdoors. For some reason, it brought me a sense of comfort and security, while others would find such feelings inside of a warm, cozy house. But then again, most of the worst incidents of my life were experienced in the confines of a building or house. I shivered at the thought.

My eyes shot open after what I thought was a few minutes, but must have been an hour, for everyone was clearing off of the grounds to go in for their next class. I groaned, stretched and stood up. I grabbed my bag and began to walk towards the castle and towards the one class that would make my day even worse than a living hell.

* * *

"I assume you all did some research last night?" Snape inquired in front of the class. His beady eyes scanned every face, which were either frightened or blank. "Are you all mute and incapable of answering my question?"

A few 'no sir's' were muttered from the classroom. He raised his eyebrows as he waited for an answer.

I glanced around the room. Everyone was sitting next to their Potions partners at a table of their own with a cauldron in front of them. Their books were opened and notes were neatly placed on the table as well.

After a few seconds it seemed as if no body else would raise their hand, so I looked over to Draco who returned my stare with cold eyes as I pointed to our notes from the previous night. He either didn't understand what I was trying to say, or wouldn't agree with me, so I did the one thing I knew I should. I raised my hand.

When Snape saw this, his eyes narrowed and grew even colder. "What, Miss Granger?"

"Draco and I got notes for our Potion last night, Professor." I retorted as calmly as possible. At the moment I didn't need another outburst from the Potions Master, so I was trying to stay on his good side.

He narrowed his eyes even more, if that's possible and then turned his black eyes to Draco. "Is this true, Mr. Malfoy?" Draco nodded and returned his stare. Snape looked at him, glared at me, and then turned his attention back to the class.

"So are you saying that Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger are the _only_ students to do research?" Nobody answered. Neville shook in his seat. "Do you think I told you yesterday to do so for no reason! I think not!" He exclaimed in fury. "Now you can't do _anything_. I expect all of you to have notes and ingredients for your Potions by Friday. That's in two days. You better all have them, or you'll be severely punished. Understood?"

The class just nodded, so Snape repeated himself. "I said, **_understood_**!"

"Yes, Professor," Everyone mumbled under their breath. The Slytherin's answered louder than the Gryffindors for they knew they wouldn't be the target of Snape's fury. Snape simply glared at the two houses, mostly Gryffindor, for a few more seconds before turning to sit behind his desk.

"Everybody, except for Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy are to write a five foot essay on responsibility and hand it in to me on Friday along with your notes." Each side of the room groaned, while the Slytherins seemed shocked. Harry smirked at their stunned faces.

"They never saw that one coming." He muttered underneath his breath to Ron (who was at a near by table) and the two shared a quiet laugh.

"Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy, you may begin working on your tonic if you wish to." I nodded and thanked the Professor before turning to Draco. Luckily we were at the back table so we didn't draw much attention to ourselves, besides a few glares from the Slytherins, which were mostly directed at me.

"Alright, according to my notes we're going to need some Bra-" I began to recite the ingredients quietly but Draco cut me off.

"I _know_ what we need Granger," He hissed in return. His voice, just like mine, was not above a whisper, "I have the notes as well."

"Well, excuse me then, oh Slytherin Prince for trying to help. I won't bother next time."

"Good," he replied angrily, "The less I need to hear you talk, the better."

I glared at him and he just smirked at my loss for words. "Yet again, you can't come up with a proper retort. You're losing your touch Granger."

"I just don't feel like wasting my time on such an arrogant, stuck up, pureblooded prat such as yourself. But apparently, it seems as if you would like to use _your_ time to think up ways to upset me. And I thought I was just a filthy mudblood to you. I guess not." He bared his teeth as he growled.

"Believe me Granger, I don't sit around and think of ways to destroy you. It's already being done for me. Last night's a great example."

I saw his eyes flash in triumph, but all I could think about was one thing. Did he see me cut myself? I pulled my sleeves down and gripped them in my hands. If he did, oh Merlin, what was I going to do? He hates me enough to go around and tell everyone, and that's the last thing I want him to do. Merlin, help me!

"Hmm, really. And I thought you were the one who wrote that note, and placed it on the wall. So technically, you were plotting a way to make me offended."

"Who said I was talking about _that_, Granger." He glanced down at my tightened sleeves and then pushed his chair back. "I'll go get the first few ingredients." He replied calmly in a regular pitched voice, as if our whispered threats weren't just exchanged.

Maybe he didn't want anybody else to find out? Was that why he wasn't mentioning it around anyone else besides me, because if he wanted to, the whole school would have known by now, and I knew for certain, everybody would be staring at my arms, but no one but him was. This was so odd, but how was I supposed to confront him about this? If I asked him if he knew, and he didn't, then I would have just told him, and I _could not_ let that happen. But if I asked him, and he _did_ know, I couldn't even fathom how I'd react. Shivers past through my body, and my hands began to shake from how nervous I was.

He returned within two minutes, which left my questions unexplained, and my thought interrupted, and placed the ingredients onto the table in front of us. Everything was materials we had to cut up, such as various roots, vines, plants, etc, except for one ingredient. It was already in liquid form so it was in a beaker. It was labeled in large flashing red letters Conflagration Tonic.

"This," Draco whispered to me as he pointed at the beaker and sat down, "Is the Conflagration Tonic. You probably already know what this does, but Snape asked me to repeat its dangers to you when I returned. So basically, if you get this on you, it will burn your skin, possibly leave you disfigured etc." I nodded and then began to read from our notes.

"Okay, add the Brazzle's foot first. Make sure you cut it into eighths, and drop each section into the cauldron with two minute intervals." Draco muttered an okay and cut up the food carefully. We sat in silence as we waited for the two minute intervals to pass. Neither of us looked at one another, and when we did, we'd either glare or quickly turn away. Well, Draco did most of the glaring, and I was usually the one turning away. I just couldn't bear looking into his eyes if he knew one of my darkest secrets.

A sigh escaped my lips as I began to space out. I was only brought back to reality when I heard Draco shout. "Zabini! NO! Watch out!" I turned to face Draco who was staring with widened eyes at Blaise who just bumped into our table, which sent the Conflagration Tonic flying towards me. I sat there stunned. Everything was moving in slow motion and I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds and couldn't move a single limb. Draco began to lunge towards me to push me out of the way, and just at that moment, everything registered. A flaming potion that had the ability to burn through my flesh was flying towards me.

I stood up in alarm, and just as I did so, the Potion hit my stomach full force. For a second I just stared at my robes, and suddenly I screamed. A high pitched scream as I felt my body begin to burn. Everything became a blur as I saw Snape rush forward, screaming for everyone to stay out of the way, and for Harry to get Professor Dumbledore to the Infirmary as soon as possible. Snape began to draw nearer, and he was shouting now at someone to my right to bring me to the Infirmary. Suddenly my vision clouded up, and then everything turned black. The last thing I saw was a blonde haired angel catching me as I fell backwards and carrying me in his arms as he sprinted down the corridors.

* * *

**A.N. Woo! Finally Chapter 4 is finished! I hope you liked it. Review pretty, pretty, pretty, please! Reviews inspire me! **

**Thank you: SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, evahyoung, tomgirlfiend102** (I can't really answer your question. In the upcoming chapters you'll see if he actually did or not), **emerald sparrow, twighunter, LadY MyStiK** (really? Wow! I never knew my story was written well enough for it to relate to the movies in such a way! You're review really helped me) **EuphoniumGurl0 **(I fixed the Snape thing I believe, if not I'll do that later. Thanks!) **mysticallove, todrdslvr, ginny-wannabee, ali potter, Aisha, Nixin** (thanks for the advice. I actually did try to use it. Please let me know if I added enough to detail to bring the scenes to life, or not. If not I'll try to fix it. Please let me know, ) **Nicole** (Wow, I really brought you to tears? Thank you so much for liking this story! Your review inspired me.) **girl4BRITISHguys, In Dreams** (Haha! He was really eating a bigmac with a fork and knife! WTF!) **Oni Tenchie, ObSsEsSeD** (I'm going to try to not make it predictable), **Beach-Babi, masta D, Anonymous **(Thanks a bunch**!), strawberryblueberrykitten** (Thanks!), **chocolatemilk, Goddess of Gorgeousness** (Thank you!)

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**Until next time  
****_--BrOoMsTiCkK_**


	5. Our New Celebrity

**Toxic Kisses**

**Our New Celebrity**

**(Chapter song: Wake Me Up When September Ends by Greenday)**

* * *

Everything was black, and in slow motion; really slow motion. You know the kind where everything is being played out in front of you and you know you can stop it, but you just can't move. Where every little moment…second…minute…and even millisecond feels like… forever.

That's all I can remember from that afternoon, well all that I can recall at the moment. My eyebrows furrowed together as I tried to open my eyes. They felt like they had been shut for centuries. For all that I know at the moment, they could have been. My lips parted and I let out a short sigh, which then turned into a grunt of pain as I attempted to roll over to my side. Bad idea.

"Owwwww." I groaned as I moved a hand towards my stomach. I felt bandages wrapped all along my waist, starting right below my chest and ending at my hips. My fingers lightly went along the rows of dressing tape. I couldn't even fathom why I was like this.

I rolled my head to the side and slowly managed to open my eyes, and as I did so, I took in my surroundings. The bed that I was in (it was covered in white sheets), was in the middle of a giant brick room, which was obviously a wing in the castle. I was only cut off from the rest of area, by white curtains that lightly hung from metal poles that were only a few feet from my bed. There was a chair to the right of my head, which looked like it had recently been used, and I wish I could at least remember how I had gotten here, never mind who had been sitting beside me.

Slowly, I brought my other hand below the sheets and touched my stomach a little to hard then I wanted to. A loud whimper escaped from my mouth and I closed my eyes tightly as I waited for the searing pain to disappear. All I could see where tiny colorful dots which danced behind my eyelids like pixies.

"Madame Pomfrey she's up!" I heard someone hiss from the other side of the curtains as I groaned again. A bunch of commotion could be heard and a strict female voice demanding that everyone stay out of her way.

"Out of the way everyone. Go back to class! Miss Granger is not in the proper state for visitors. You will be able to talk to her once she is out of the hospital wing." Oh, that's where I was, right. I should have known.

A few mutters could be heard from the other side of the curtain which sounded like "Silly old hag," or "Go back to class, my ass." A small smile crossed my face as I heard a familiar male voice arguing with her relentlessly.

"Madame Pomfrey, I want to stay here. I want to know if she'll be okay! She's my best friend! You can't do this!"

"Yeah! You can't," A second voice butted in. It was Harry and Ron.

"Fine," she finally gave in. They were so stubborn and persistent when they needed to be. It could become quite annoying at times, but it could also be adorable. I smiled as I remembered some priceless child hood memories. One that I will _never _forget is when they managed to get me to fly.

It was near the end of October, which meant the tress had turned a beautiful array of orange, yellow and red, and it also marked my favorite time of the year. The grounds were so beautiful during the fall, and it was so peaceful to just stare out at the horizon while the sun set and the smell of autumn filled the air. Every day I would go outside and just sit beneath my favorite tree and just relax, and that's just what I was doing when I was rudely interrupted by the two.

"Hermione, come here! We have a surprise for you!" Harry told me. He was extremely excited and his eyes danced with mirth. I glanced over at Ron who was just as eager and then raised my eyebrows.

"What is it you two? It better not be anything to get us expelled." I warned as I sat back against my tree. I really didn't feel like moving. I was so comfortable.

"Believe me! You want to see this!" Ron insisted as Harry extended his hand to help me off the ground. I gave them both another look before taking Harry's hand and pulling myself up. I brushed off my robes before I was dragged away between the two boys towards the Quidditch Field.

"You aren't going to make me fly are you?" I inquired nervously. "Because you both know how much I hate that."

"But you've _never _done it before Hermione, so how would you know if you hate it or not?" Ron replied amused.

"First year," I squeaked, "Flying class. Remember?" Harry chuckled.

"You didn't even get off the ground. You wouldn't even mount your broom, remember?"

"So!" I whimpered. "I don't want to die!"

"Hermione, you _aren't _going to die. It's just that, you really need to see this. You'll love it, believe me," Ron explained calmly. He had his arm linked with mine. Harry did the same on my left side.

"You _will_ love this. You'll thank us after Hermione. I know you will!" Harry smirked and the two obviously looked pleased knowing that they'd be right in only a few short minutes.

"But…" I attempted to come up with some excuse to interrupt their plans, but nothing came to mind.

"But nothing Hermione. You're going to see this," Harry smiled as he called his broom. It flew towards him quickly and I pushed myself against Ron. A small yelp escaped my lips as Ron laughed and wrapped his arms around him like a brother would.

"It's okay Hermione. You've seen Harry call his broom before. It hasn't hurt him previously, now has it?"

"It came so fast though!" I let out a nervous laugh and relaxed into Ron's arms but the comfort wasn't long lived.

"Okay, now, come here Hermione." Harry motioned towards him. He was already mounted on the end of the broom in the middle of the Quidditch Pitch. I looked around before I sat down in front of him. I never realized how large this Pitch really was. The stadium seats were so high up, as well as the goal posts. I couldn't even imagine how nervous the players were as they stepped out on the field to start their games. Shivers passed through my body as I looked at the color coordinated seats and I smiled as I saw the area that I usually sat in, as well as the seat where I lit Snape's robes on fire.

"Alright, here I come." I mumbled and sat down on the broom in front of Harry. I shook and then leaned against him as he put one arm around my waist and the other to grab the broom handle in front of me. Nervously, I glanced over to my right where Ron had also mounted his broom which had just appeared a few seconds ago. _This is horrible. What if someone calls a broom and I'm in the way and it hits me? Merlin, that spell is so dangerous_. I shake my head and take a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm going to kick off now, alright; on the count of three." Harry whispered into my ear and Ron nodded in agreement. "One…" I inhaled deeply. The sweet smell of Harry as well as the scent of autumn filled my nose and I closed my eyes in bliss. "Two…" I relaxed against Harry. This wouldn't be so bad, now would it? I mean, Harry's holding on to me. He's strong, and he knows what he's doing. He wouldn't let me fall. He loves me like a best friend should. "Three…" he shouted and kicked off the ground.

A short scream escaped my lips and I closed my eyes even tighter. I knew that if I looked, I might get sick. We were moving upwards so fast, or it seemed like we were. I could tell Harry was going slowly for me, but honestly, I was scared.

The parts of my hair that weren't pulled back flew out behind Harry and I. I wanted to ask how much longer we were going to ascend for, but it seemed like every part of my body was frozen with fear.

Suddenly we stopped.

"Hermione, you can open your eyes now." Harry whispered into my ear. He wrapped his arm around my waist a little more and gently placed his chin on my shoulder. "Please, you want to see this."

I could feel my body trembling with little waves of fear and angst. "Are you sure?" I asked in a voice just above a whisper."

"Yes," Harry replied. Slowly I began to open one eye, and then the other. Once I focused, I felt myself holding my breath in awe.

"It's so beautiful." I observed. My fear and anxiety had left me completely in no less than a millisecond and I finally felt comfortable in Harry's arms.

"I told you it'd be worth it!" Ron shouted from my right. I turned to face him and I smiled.

"Yes, you two were right." I agreed as I watched the sun setting. The horizon was painted with light blues, lavenders, pinks, reds, oranges and yellows. Clouds were randomly scattered across the sky and were an assortment of colors, depending on the way the sun hit them. The sun itself was a glowing ball of orange and red. Slowly it sank beneath the horizon, disappearing ever so slowly to brighten the other side of our vast world.

Contently I sank back into Harry's arms and let my head relax against his chest. His arm stayed around my waist while his chin rested on top of my head. For so long I have watched this very sun set, but never have I seen it as beautiful as this. The altitude we were at didn't affect me as much as I thought it would have, even though we were only just above the goal posts.

For twenty more minutes, the three of us hovered above the ground on two brooms watching one of the most beautiful scenes I have _ever_ seen in my life. It's so hard to even describe, which is probably why it's one of my most favorite memories. For some reason, all of my favorite memories are ones that are hard to explain. I guess I just like the mysteriousness in them. It comforts me in some odd way, because I know that some things are better left unexplained.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a voice near the side of my bed. "I told you she wasn't awake." A strict female hissed at two boys. It was Madame Pomfrey.

"I swear she was though!" Harry exclaimed as quietly as possible and I smiled. I opened my eyes which I didn't even realize I had shut. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes while I thought about my first experience flying.

"Look! She's awake!" Ron yelped. Victory gleamed from his eyes. I laughed a little before clutching my stomach.

"Owww…" I groaned and Madame Pomfrey glared at the two boys.

"Look at what you have done!" She demanded. Harry and Ron looked away.

"Sorry Hermione…we didn't want to make you laugh, you know. We just came to see how you were. That's all." Ron explained embarrassed. I smiled and nodded.

"It's not your fault you guys. I'm glad that you're here and are concerned. But besides the fact that my stomach is seriously burned, I'm okay." They both gave me a small smile at my upbeat demeanor, but I could tell they were troubled by my condition. Both boys had dark circles underneath their eyes and it looked like they hadn't slept for days.

"Um, Madame Pomfrey," I asked quietly, "How long have I been…out for?" The nurse looked down at me with sad eyes.

"Just about two weeks, my dear. I'm so sorry." She added as she saw my eyes grow wide. _Two weeks! TWO WEEKS! _My mind began to reel with concern.

"How…how bad have I been burnt? Is the damage irreversible?"

"No, you were brought here just in time actually. If it wasn't for Mr. Malfoy who brought you in when he did, you would have had permanent scars, but now all you'll be left with is a centimeter scratch right where the potion hit first." I smiled. _Thank you Merlin._

"So, how long will the bandages be on then?" Harry asked from my left. Madame Pomfrey glanced over at him and then back at me.

"For a few more weeks I'm afraid. But, in two days you'll be able to leave the Infirmary. You shouldn't be experiencing anymore blinding pain after that since I've been giving you a potion to reduce the tenderness gradually until it is completely gone. And like I said before, the pain should be gone in two days. The thing is you'll still be tender around your stomach which means you have to make sure you don't get struck there. It'd be a good idea to learn some sort of shielding spell, or have someone walk with you to your classes."

I nodded as she poured the pain relief potion into a glass for me to drink.

"This may taste vile, but it is necessary." Madame Pomfrey explained.

"Okay," I answered as I drank it. The potion was utterly revolting but I made sure I downed all of it. I wanted the pain to be gone, because I didn't know how much longer I could put up with it. I mean, I have only been awake for not even an hour and I was already in anguish. I knew these next two days would be horrible.

"Well, I'll leave you three to catch up," the elderly nurse explained, "But I want you two boys out in fifteen minutes. Miss Granger needs her rest." Harry and Ron agreed with a few mumbles and groans but all the same, they would take what ever time they had to speak with me.

"Does it hurt horribly?" Harry asked gently as he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Yeah," I replied softly as I felt Ron hold my right hand. I glanced at the two boys and felt my eyes tear up. "Oh, Harry and Ron…" I began but couldn't finish as I started to sob uncontrollably.

"Hermione? Oh Merlin! Are you okay!" Ron asked worried. Deep concern was etched along his face which looked like it aged a few years while I was in the hospital. Harry's looked the same. Wow, these two boys really loved me.

"It's just that…" I choked through sobs. "You two have been there for me through _everything_. Thank you." I squeezed both of their hands tightly. "Wow, this is so corny, but honestly, I love you two like brothers." In return they both squeezed my hands and then Harry scooted over and buried his head in my shoulder and gave me a big hug. Ron did the same.

We sat like that for what seemed like forever. Madame Pomfrey must have decided to not kick them out when she peered in from the other side of the curtain to see us sitting there, huddled together like the world was about to end in a few seconds. But to me, it felt as if they let go, then my own world would crumble to pieces. They were the last thing that kept me alive, and did I love them for it.

Harry and Ron spent the whole night by my bed. We fell asleep in the same position we woke in. My hands were still intertwined with theirs, and both of their heads were still on my shoulders. Those boys really helped me get through those two days of horrible pain. I was upset to see them leave that morning though, but after every class they would come by my side to see how I was doing… (Ginny did as well) even if they were late for their next period.

"Only ten more hours until you're out of here and back with us!" Harry exclaimed the fifth time he came to see me.

"Only nine more hours until you're out!" Ron exclaimed an hour later when they visited again.

"Only eight more hours…"

"Only seven more hours…"

Harry and Ron's antics continued until I was finally released from the Infirmary. It made me look forward to actually leaving with them each time they came to talk to me, and when I finally heard those words, "You may leave Miss Granger," I nearly jumped with joy, but instead had to move slowly.

"Alright, almost there Hermione." Harry encouraged as he helped me slide off of the side of the bed. Ron was standing on my other side, holding onto my arm as I steadied myself on my feet. A dizzy spell passed over me as I stood up for the first time in two and a half weeks.

"Are you okay?" Ron asked as he held up my robes and I slipped them on over my bandages and pajamas.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy. I think you might need to hold onto my arms as we walk back to the common room. It's been a while since I walked anywhere." I smiled weakly and they grabbed both of my arms gently. Harry slipped my wand into my robe pocket and then grabbed the rest of my belongings and held them in his other hand.

"And we are off," Ron exclaimed cheerfully as we slowly made out way out of the Infirmary and down the corridors towards the Gryffindor Common Room. During our long and sluggish walk towards the Common Room, Harry and Ron caught me up on everything that has been happening.

"Well, in Potions, Malfoy has been doing most of the work. Snape was _furious_ with Zabini, and even that's an understatement. I have _never _seen Snape that mad with anyone, never mind someone from his **own** house!" I nodded but internally I was grateful that Blaise had received harsh punishment. He had put me through hell for the past two and a half weeks; that asshole. "Everyone else has been giving him the cold shoulder as well. Even his fellow Slytherin's which is really odd. You know, I thought they'd be cheering for him, no offense Hermione, but they aren't. It's weird.

"Yeah…"I mumbled as Harry continued talking. Ron interrupted a few times to update me on homework which I was also grateful for.

After a good thirty minutes, we had made it to the portrait hole. Ron muttered the password and together we walked in. I was suddenly engulfed in cheers and "welcome backs" from everyone in the common room. Ginny ran over and gave me a soft hug, making sure to avoid my stomach.

"Merlin, I've missed you so much Hermione!" She exclaimed, "Even though I saw you only two hours ago!" I laughed.

"I've missed you so much too! You need to catch me up on the latest gossip. Whoa, when did I like hearing about gossip?" We both started to laugh.

"Well come on, let's get you upstairs. You should probably be lying down as it is. You should rest up before tomorrow." I agreed and thanked Harry and Ron before allowing Ginny to help me up the stairs.

"So, has the pain subsided?" Ginny asked kindly as she helped me remove my robe and lie down in bed.

"Yeah," I replied, "It has, thank Merlin. It's just that tomorrow when I take a shower, well bath, I can't take a shower until my stomach is completely healed; I need to remove the bandages. I just don't know if I can do it. I'm scared of what my stomach will look like, you know?" Ginny sat down on the side of bed and brushed the hair off of my face.

"It'll be okay Hermione. You'll be able to do it. It shouldn't be that bad, right? I mean, Madame Pomfrey has been giving you drugs to heal your stomach, as well as reduce the pain."

"Yes, I know... I shouldn't think so pessimistically. You know, I'll be just fine. I think I need to sleep. I'm sorry, we'll catch up later, alright?"

"Sure thing Hermione," Ginny replied with a smile. "I'm going to be down in the common room, and I'll check up on you every once in a while. Alright?"

"Alright," I told her as she stood up and walked towards the door. "Thanks so much Ginny, for everything. Really, thank you."

Ginny stopped and turned to face me. "Your welcome Hermione. You know I'll always be there for you." I smiled and closed my eyes.

"Right back at you." I retorted and Ginny smiled. The click of the door shutting a few seconds later echoed around the dorm, as it signaled the red head's departure. I let out a short sigh before falling into a deep sleep. Tomorrow would definitely be interesting. What was I going to say to Draco? I had absolutely no idea.

* * *

"Hermione, dear, it's time to get up." I heard Ginny whisper beside me. Her hand was on my shoulder and she was gently trying to wake me up.

"Huh?" I grumbled and heard Ginny repeat herself again.

"Oh, yeah, right." I mumbled and rubbed my eyes slowly. "I have to go to classes today."

"Yeah," Ginny said smiling. "I woke you earlier than usual so you could take your bath." I got rigid at the mention of this. I completely forgot about having to remove the bandages.

"Thanks," I replied. "I'll go do that now." My voice was calm but internally I was frightened; like a small child when he hears thunder and lightning outdoors, but this time, I didn't have those loving parents to run to. Those parents to comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I guess I had been thrown out into the real world before I was ready, which has made me insecure in numerous ways. I was ashamed of my behavior at times, but I couldn't stop it. If only I had a normal childhood…But that's what they all say, right? 'If only my parents had been there for me, I wouldn't have turned out the way I did.' I can blame them all I want, but in the end, it's my decisions. I just wish it was so much easier than that.

"Okay. Just yell if you have a problem." Ginny announced as I leisurely made my way into the bathroom, my previous thoughts were forgotten. Now all I was worrying about was what my stomach would look like. _Wow, I could actually walk on my own now. _I thought, _I've improved, slowly but surely. _

Gently I shut the door and stalked over to the mirror. I stripped my clothes until I was only in my bandages which I painfully stared at through the mirror. Scared and horrified, I looked away and started to fill the tub with warm water and strawberry scented bubble bath. Hesitantly, I brought my hands to my bandages and began to unwrap them.

A million thoughts and images ran through my mind as I unraveled the brown dressing tape off of my body._ Only one row left._

My breath got caught in my throat as I felt the last bandage fall to the floor. I turned and faced the mirror and what I saw shocked me beyond belief.

There was nothing there…except for that small scratch Madame Pomfrey that was faintly visible. My breath which was once ragged became slow and calm.

Lightly I pressed my fingers to my stomach and then winced in pain. It still hurt like hell which obviously meant the skin was still tender.

I closed my eyes as I waited for the pain to subside before stepping into the warm bath. I scrubbed my hair and then washed my body softly, making sure I paid extra attention to my stomach.

"Hermione, are you alright in there?" I heard Ginny call from the opposite side of the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine! I'm coming out in a second." I shouted in return. Ginny mumbled an okay as I stepped out of the bath and began to dry myself off.

A million thankful thoughts flew through my head as I began to rebandage myself. _It's only tender, but that will only last for a few more weeks. It'll only be a scratch. That's all. Nothing more. Just a small scratch. Amen!_

A large smile crossed my face as I began to slide on my robes. I sang random songs underneath my breath as I did my make up and hair. I was so damn happy.

"Wow, I guess it went well?" Ginny inquired as I skipped from the bathroom.

"It went fine!" I exclaimed beaming, "There's only a miniature scar on my stomach, and the skin surrounding it is still tender, but besides that I'm fine."

Ginny smiled wide as well, "Oh, Hermione! This is excellent news! So, you're ready for your classes, I presume?" I nodded.

"I was born ready." I smirked and saluted her.

"You're such a dork Hermione, honestly. I don't even know how many times I have to say it." She explained laughing as we both gathered up our books and headed down the stairs.

"You can say it as many times as you want. It never gets old, because Ginny, I can say the same for you as well." Ginny pouted and I grinned in triumph.

"If you weren't injured Hermione, I swear, I would…I don't know what I would do. I'd do something though!" I laughed and soon Ginny was smiling too.

"Okay, I admit I wasn't serious." Ginny said afterwards.

"I know, I know." I replied happily as we traveled down the familiar corridors towards the Great Hall. It felt like forever since I had been down here. To be able to saunter down these halls with a group of my closest friends, joking, talking and gossiping about what ever we chose. Those two weeks in the hospital, and my near-death experience really helped me realize what great friends I really do have. I just wasn't sure if it was enough to scare me into not cutting. To be frank, I doubt it would. Cutting was my escape, if you would like to say that. I had complete control. I, Hermione Granger, was the only one who could choose where, when and how I cut myself. It was my freedom, as sick and twisted as it may seem; no matter how crude it was, I liked cutting.

Subconsciously my left hand began to run along my right wrist, feeling my slashed skin. No one was looking, and Ginny had begun to talk to a Ravenclaw friend as we made our way into the Great Hall. I slid my sleeve completely down my arm and then grabbed the ends with my hand. I had forgotten to put on the look away spell. But wait…the scars are still there! It must have worked while I was in the hospital, or Madame Pomfrey saw them and didn't say anything. That's not like her though. She would have done something, or possibly asked what had happened, wouldn't she?

I took a deep breath and then slowly let it out as I sat down in between Harry and Ron. I should just be thankful that no one saw it, right? A nervous smile flashed across my features causing Harry and Ron to glance over at me.

"Nervous about coming back to classes?" Harry teased, "Well, that's not like the Hermione I know!" I played along with his assumption by laughing uneasily.

"Yeah, I guess that's what it is," I replied as I placed some pancakes on my plate and began to cut them. Ron noticed this.

"Oh, no, no, no, Hermione, let _me _cut them!" He exclaimed joyously and grabbed my plate from across the table against my protests.

"Ron, no, it's okay-" I began as he attempted to cut my pancakes which looked more like mush than food after he was done. He smiled once he finished.

"Here you go Hermione!" He declared as he handed them over to me.

"Thanks Ron." I replied sheepishly. I ate the pancakes despite their hideous appearance. Surprisingly they turned out delicious. Together, Harry, Ron and I conversed about the upcoming day.

"Let's see…" Harry started to say, "We have Transifiguartion with Ravenclaw…and then Potions with the Slytherins." His voice started to die down as he got to the end.

"Oh," was all I could muster. I knew I had to see Draco eventually, but it was so soon. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing and when I opened my eyes, it was the last thing I wanted to see. It was _him_. It was _Draco_ staring at me from across the Great Hall.

Spasms of shivers passed through my body. What was I supposed to do?

"Ar-are you ready to go yet? I think we should." I asked Harry and Ron quickly.

"Er, yeah sure, we can go. C'mon Harry," Ron responded and Harry agreed and together we exited the Great Hall and walked down to Transfiguration. As I entered the room, every head turned towards me and I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks. I didn't mind having people noticing me, but having the whole entire school knowing about the Potions escapade really scared me.

"It's not polite to _stare_," Harry hissed to the group ogling at me. They all turned their heads quickly and scattered to their seats, like a deer caught in headlights.

"Thanks," I muttered as we also took our seats. Professor McGonagall started class a few minutes later and I contently lost myself in her lecture. Honestly, I think I paid attention that morning then I had ever done in my life, and that's saying something. All I wanted was something to keep my mind off of Draco, and what I was going to say to him. That's all I needed to do, and I'd be fine. But, Transfiguration came to an end too quickly for my liking.

"Well, we have Potions now Hermione…" Ron spoke inaudibly, as if he was convincing himself that we didn't have the dreaded class next.

"It's okay, I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me." I replied confidently. My voice didn't betray my actual emotions which were mixed and jumbled. I sauntered down the corridors towards Potions with Harry and Ron in tow. Students parted to make way for me, and the younger ones watched me with awe in their eyes. It was as if I had become a celebrity over two week's time. _I was practically killed! Is that what it takes for people to notice me?_ Internally I debated that fact as I stepped into the Potions classroom. Everyone who was already in there, which was about ¾ of the class, turned to stare at me. I glanced at each of them in return.

A few darted their eyes elsewhere while some kept their eyes fixed on my stomach. I sneered at the Slytherins who dare look there and swiftly took my seat. Draco had not entered yet.

Impatiently I tapped my foot and spun my quill in my fingers. Harry and Ron occasionally looked back and gave me reassuring smiles which I returned gratefully. The seconds passed by slowly and the minutes even slower. It was as if life was dragging on, waiting for this one moment to come and amaze all who were watching. It was as if it wanted to make a spectacle of the upcoming confrontation between Draco and me. The Serpent against the Lioness; his forked tongue battling against my claws. And the question was who would win?

But the thing is, I didn't want to fight him. I _liked _Draco. I didn't know what to do, or what to say for that matter. My eyes shut and I rubbed my temples. I blocked out the surrounding sounds and focused on my thoughts.

"Ahem," A male voice drifted into my ears from in front of me. My eyes opened hastily and my head shot up. It was Professor Snape. "Are you feeling better Miss Granger?" He sneered. It was just like Snape to be horribly angry after a student was injured, but what more was to be expected from him?

"Yes Professor. I'm feeling a great deal better, thanks to Madame Pomfrey."

"I assume you will catch up on everything you have missed with Mister Malfoy here," Snape retorted coolly as he pointed to my left where Draco was seated. He was leaning back in his chair with his quill in his hands. His blonde tendrils fell back from his face and his grey eyes glistened with authority and assurance. His mouth formed a sneer as Snape pointed towards him and his eyes elegantly met mine. I felt the familiar shivers pass through my body and I felt myself beginning to drown in his eyes.

"Miss Granger? Is that understood?" Snape asked again. A few Slytherins snickered. I turned away from Draco and looked up at Snape's beady black eyes.

"Yes sir."

"Good." He turned in a bellowing of pitch black robes and scanned the class who were sitting quietly and expectantly. Snape then strode to the front of the room and then smacked his desk hard causing a few students to jump. "What are you waiting for!" He hissed as he faced the class, "Start working on your assignments! You have only a week and a half left!"

Students began to gather their ingredients and turn on their burner. The caldrons appeared on the table instantaneously and everyone began their work. I stood up, as did Draco. Draco began work on the potion while I watched. An awkward silence hung in the air between us. About a minute later, I broke the tension with two words.

"Thank you." I muttered and stared straight at Draco. He spun and faced me rapidly. His steel blue eyes flashed with an unknown emotion. Confusion perhaps? Uncertainty maybe?

"What for?" He demanded. Obviously he didn't get gratitude often.

"For bringing me to the Infirmary when Zabini poured the Conflagration Potion on my stomach." He glanced down at my waist and I felt extremely self conscious and pulled at my sleeves.

"He was being an asshole. I just did what I had to do. Snape asked me to anyways." Draco retorted coolly.

"Even so," I began uneasily. Thanking Draco was much harder than I thought it was. I hadn't even planed on doing so in the first place, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Me and my damned morals. "You do deserve some thanks. If you hadn't brought me when you did, I would have had permanent and horrid scaring over my stomach. So…thanks." I stopped abruptly and looked away. What else should I say? Draco was silent.

My eyes traveled up his body and back into his eyes which looked extremely venerable and open again. Just like in the hall two weeks earlier. He opened his mouth to speak but suddenly shut it. I turned my head to see who he was staring at, and it was Pansy and Harry. Pansy was glaring at Draco, as if she was daring him to say what he was about to, and Harry just had the utmost disgust written upon his face. He didn't look up from his work which meant he didn't see the unspoken battle going on between the two Slytherins. Pansy was the first to look away.

"It's a shame that I had helped you. If I knew that was the case, I would have waited longer and had you suffer." Draco's retorted as his eyes turned a cold and solid grey again. Human emotions were no longer present, instead, it was just the cold demeanor he had come to be known by.

I felt my eyes begin to brim with tears. "I-I'm sorry I brought it up." I whispered, letting each word flow from my mouth bit by bit. The emotion in them was clear and I knew Draco could tell. He knew how much he had hurt me, and I didn't want to know if he was happy or upset about it.

Sometimes I wonder if his words do more damage to me than that flaming potion. To be honest, I have a feeling they do.

We finished our work in silence. I was able to pick up where he had left off easily. He had written notes on his work for each day I was absent and gave them to me silently after his outburst.

Class dragged by awfully slow, and I felt like I had aged a hundred years by the time Snape yelled at us to leave.

It seemed like I was always relieved when class was over, but wouldn't it be the opposite? Potion's is the only class I am able to spend with Draco, so wouldn't I be upset; sad, or angry by chance? But I wasn't…

I felt like a snail as I piled my books into my bag and placed it gingerly on one of my shoulders. Draco was moving as slow as I was. By the time we were finished, only two other people were in the room. Pansy, who was near the front of the room with Snape talking, and Harry who was also cleaning up.

"Granger," Draco hissed at me. I wouldn't look up. Instead I nodded my head to show I was listening. "Look…I'm really…I am…so-" Everything in my body stopped working. Was he about to apologize? Maybe he actually would this time.

"Draco dear! What are you doing?" Pansy called as she ran over to him and latched onto his arm. Draco was disgusted, but acted like his normal arrogant and cold self.

"Just cleaning up," Draco was short with Pansy but that didn't stop her on going advances.

"Don't you think the mudblood here could do that?" She retorted nastily. I glared at her.

"It's done, let's go. Don't waste your time on her. She's been through enough." Pansy pulled away from Draco and stood back stunned.

"Are you _defending _a mudblood!" Pansy spat and put her hands on her hips. Draco's eyes flashed in anger. I wasn't certain if it was at her accusation, or because of what she was saying about me.

"What difference does it make to you Parkinson? Now fuck off." Pansy sneered and stormed out of the classroom. Draco glanced around and locked eyes with me for a second. He seemed almost sorry for what Pansy had said. Maybe he'd apologize now…

"Hermione, come on," Harry shouted from behind me just as Draco was about to say something yet again.

"One second!" I spun around and told Harry. When I turned back around, Draco was no where to be seen. All that was left was his quill and a piece of parchment. I grabbed the quill. It was a beautiful black feather which was formed perfectly. There were no deformities or any feathers out of place. I then reached for the note.

"Is that a _note _Miss Granger?" Snape questioned from in front of me. How long had he been there for? He quickly grabbed it, read it, and then looked at me. "I will be confiscating this." I opened my mouth to protest but Harry was whispering in my ear not to. Did he just come up beside me as well? I realized I was really out of it today.

"Come on, let's go Hermione." Harry said calmly. "We can go outside underneath your favorite tree. It'll be fun." I nodded and he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. We walked down the hall and outside like that together. Harry kept on talking, but all I could think about was that note and what Draco was about to say. I then decided that I was going to find Draco and ask him about it. I just needed to get him alone…and I had the perfect plan.

* * *

**A.N.** Okay, yes I know it's been a month. It's just that I had been loaded with projects. They will be presented and completely finished by the second week of June, and then the updates should be faster and well-written. I apologize if this isn't the best of my work. It'll get better soon. **sigh Review please! **I broke 100 yay! Thanks to all of you! I'd love 150. Heehee, but I can only hope.

Well thanks to**: LadY MyStiK, Star, ToXiC-SeOuL-FiRe, thekeytoDraco'sheart, Forbidden Akira, revelyn, Goddess of Gorgeousness, Angel5blue5, tomgirlfriend102, krirobe, LadyLuck13, girl4BRITISHguys, Bailey, Charolastras, Scarlet, Phenaia, SoDaPoP, svetlaella, DruscillaHawke, Nixin, PuReBLoOdaZn, Beach-Babi, Kace08, Revenge, X8DramaQueen8X, jelleybean13, NikkiEvans, Laine Black, evahyoung, In Dreams, mysticallove, EuphoniumGurl0, chocolate milk**


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